May 7, Show - I am Woman Hear me Roar
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Oti ...@rocketmail.com (Otis)
May 7 STANDARD DISCLAIMER: This is NOT a transcript. This is a brief summary of calls which can be used for basing further discussion. To hear the show point your browser this way http://www.drlaura.com/listen/ But, you'll need to be a subscriber to her service now.
C1 Monologue. DL, "I may be the only human being in the United States of America who never watched one episode of 'Friends', who never watched one episode of 'Sex in the City'. Nonetheless, I heard enough about both of them to realize that they have done SEVERE damage to our culture. I am nauseated to understand there are people emotionally attached to these creatures on these shows and who CARE that they're not gonna be on the screen anymore." DL, "These shows, like 'Friends' and 'Sex in the City' tell a lie. And the lie is, that women really don't care. They can DO men left and right, make babies, you never see them on the next three episodes, and the babies never stop these women from lookin' good, and getting on with their uncommitted sex lives." [How does she know that is what happens when she admits she has never watched one episode of either show?] DL, "Now, since the woman's movement told woman that they should go for an orgasm a day, doesn't matter with whom, they're entitled to their sexual pleasure.
Women have been acting badly. Hooking up. Shacking up. And they've been hurting." DL, "I'm pretty sad that 'Sex in the City' and 'Friends' were even on the air." DL, "I do say one thing with pride.
When 'Sex in the City' first came out they wanted to buy time and advertise in my show and we turned 'em down. I'm proud of that." C1 6:35 Lindsey. Fianc?©' is in the Marines. He's deploying soon and has messed up the wedding plans. Friends are saying they should get a court house wedding before he leaves.
C1 7:20 Timothy. Sucks up over her monologue. Says he's never seen an episode of either show. Broke up with GF recently. He's supposed to do something at the college. Ex GF will be there.
C2 0:20 Tim. Reading The Book and has brought up a lot of anger in him. Walked out on the marriage of 9 years, four years ago. Says the women in The Book are just like his ex. DL, "Okay, I just gave you an answer. You didn't respond to it. It's like I didn't speak at all." C2 4:45 DL. DL, "I don't think that gentleman is alone. I think there are a lot of men who've bought [The Book] and are sitting there and saying, 'Why was I so abused?' Because, I do think it is spousal abuse." C2 5:30 Julie. Is she being too emotional. Should she move out or stay living with the 'rents. She's 26.
[Laura's voice sounds very, err, um, masculine today.] C3 0:20 Bonnie. 15 year old son is over weight. Caller's mother sent the boy a book on teen weight loss. Husband doesn't want to give the boy the book, fears it will hurt his feelings.
C3 1:30 DL. DL, "Yeah, two thirds of adults and kids are fat or obese." C3 2:10 Marcella. Dating for five years. Fianc?©' was just diagnosed with cancer. His attitude has gone downhill. She's not sure what to do, thinking of leaving. She's 22.
C3 6:10 Annette. Married 19 years. Has never enjoyed being a woman.
DL, "You can have lipstick on and your hair all done when you're changing the oil." DL, "You know, I feel sorry for you. If you can't really enjoy being a woman, it's a great loss." DL, "You've probably gone to too many national organization of I don't know what kind of women meetings." DL, "I'm an independent, VERY intelligent, successful, hard working, woman." C3 11:50 Eric. 57 and a grandfather. Adopted the grandson. Daughter went through drug rehab and parenting cl***es. Let daughter see the kid more and more. Ended up getting a house with daughter, and the neighbor who has been helping watch the kid. DL, "You shouldn't be living, under the roof, with a woman with whom you're not related if you're not married. So, the other woman is out anyway. Period!
She's gone." C4 0:20 Marlo. Ex husband gave her permission to leave the State with the 4 year old daughter. He says he will follow her to Other State where her mother lives. DL, "I can't support this. So, you called the wrong person." C4 2:40 DL. After abruptly dismissing the last caller, "That's it! I have a new rule here. When you start out with this supposedly benign and then get an answer and come up to something horrendous for which obviously there would be no argument, I feel like you've played me.
And, I'm not open to being helpful if I'm being played." C4 2:55 Airacellia. Should she confess to husband that she had an abortion. Aborted his child without telling him. Thought the marriage wouldn't work out. DL, "The kid's DEAD but you're married." Laura says because they have no other kids she has to tell him.
C5 Monologue. Had a wonderful time in Denver. DL, "Met such wonderful people." Reads a BLT.
C5 5:40 Melinda. Returning caller from the previous day. Says mom was on the hooch and neglectful. Dad abandoned them. Has always ***umed the parental role and says she grew up too fast. DL, "I wanna talk to you in a week." C5 10:55 Wendy. C, "Thank you for helping me become a better person." Found out husband's brother(22) will be moving in with them. Stay with them for the weekend actually. DL, "No! You had problems in your marriage. This just makes things more clear." C6 0:20 Laura. Started the adoption process. About 3 weeks ago the birth mother pulled out of the adoption. But, the birth mother doesn't want to get the kid from them until she gets her life sorted out. DL, "This is SO disgusting. I'd like to SMACK that young girl." DL, "It's just disgusting that teenagers can even get pregnant. That God ALLOWS IT, drives me up a wall." C6 3:05 Wayne. 21st anniversary is next month. Wife wants him to take the day off work to celebrate. Found out she has had three affairs recently. Staying in it for the kids. She's upset he doesn't want to celebrate it. DL, "I would tell her, 'At this point, we're on survival mode.'" C7 0:30 Tara. She's in SC, parents are in TX. After college, had a bad relationship with 'rents. Tried reconciling with parents.
Invited them to stay for a week. Husband says only a weekend. Laura says husband is entitled to his privacy, call them back and say just the weekend.
C7 3:40 Donna. Wants Laura to resolve something she and husband are considering. 3 daughters. Originally from MA, moved to TX. Both of their extended families are in MA. [Hey!?!? Where has Beldin been?] Want to move back to MA. Housing costs have skyrocketed. He suggested moving in with his mom. DL, "That will be a disaster." C7 3:45 Carolyn. Returning caller from a month ago. Should they tell the two kids that husband wasn't their bio father. Laura told her to tell them. Found out the bio father killed himself. Does she tell the kids about their father. DL, "Dead is good." DL, "Well, as I told you then, and I repeat now, I don't like driving people crazy.
Although, some people listening to the show might think I do. Ummm, and when, kids or adults, it doesn't matter." DL, "And then, call me back after the talk." C7 12:40 Liz. Is it unreasonable not to forgive uncle for the physical violence he had towards her father. DL, "I have a one strike law." C8 0:15 Mae. Married 34 years, happy for only 30. A year ago she found out about the affair he had.
DL, "I don't have an answer for you." C, "Well, that's not much help." DL, "Sorry." Says she read the book and had been following all the rules yet he still had the affair.
C9 Monologue. None.
C9 1:05 Dillon. Brother sent her an invoice for $1,800 for the vase that the caller's 18 month old broke a year ago while he ??“ the brother ??“ was holding him or something. Upon hearing that brother is 40 years old and never married, Laura remarks, "Oh, okay. He's a little strange." DL, "Tell him to put it through his insurance." DL, "Yea, home, home whatever insurance." C9 3:00 Cindy. Recently she feels embarr***ed and an imposition when she's out in public. DL, "Well Cindy. Button your lip." DL, "I think people, especially women, put to much importance on feelings." C9 7:20 Ruth. Two kids from the first marriage, one child from the current. Ex husband is in the can and wants to keep contact with the kids. Only waay he can call is collect. Current husband isn't thrilled about paying the phone bill. DL, "You're my hero Ruth. For thinking of your kids first." C10 0:20 C, "I'll try to make it brief. She said not to be complicated." Brother will be proposing to his GF. Offered him the family heirloom for the engagement. Mom thinks brother should pay her something for it, as a token.
C10 3:25 Melanie. Friend from college wants to have a child. Caller doesn't think this is a great idea.
C10 6:25 Rosie. Daughter received some unexpected money. Should she make daughter(19) put the money toward her school loan or invest it.
Laura says the girl is an adult so the caller doesn't have a right to demand what is done with the money.
C11 0:25 Time. Separated from wife for 7 months. They have both read The Book. Wife says she wants to reconcile. He's still upset she left with no notice at all. DL, "She wants to come back because she knows she was wrong." C11 2:25 Robert. Daughter has been married a few years now. Is it appropriate for him to offer them money for a down payment for a house. Laura says she, "has a man" and it would be inappropriate.
C11 3:55 Kevin. Not too thrilled with the 13 year old daughter's choice of friends. Anecdote from Laura about what her father told her on picking friends. DL, "I mean the kind of trouble I got into was not even close to the, you know, silly stupid stuff." C11 5:10 Susan. Has a full time nanny. Caller works at home. The nanny will be purchasing a home and needs the income. Had plans on firing the nanny in six months. DL, "She's hired ...
mms ...@nova.com
Gossip!
So now we can't follow the adventures of fictional characters unless they p*** Laura's bluenose-sniff test? Does this mean that Deryk and Lew are no longer permitted to care whether the Lakers win or lose? Say what you will about Ross, but you can't say anyone ever accused *him* of rape.
-- nay, she *boasts* --
She wouldn't be able to get up such a good head of steam if she had to refer to anything that actually existed. For the same reason, she wins all her arguments about what "feminists" have said and done.
Not that Laura would know, but the women on "Sex and The City" were split on this question. As it turned out, they were all wrong.
Not that Laura would know, but the point of episode after episode of "Sex and The City" was that women hurt, and women lost, no matter what women did or did not do.
But Laura had no scruples about selling time to a fraud like Miss Cleo. "Call me now for your free readin'!" [snip] But Tim still luuuuves his ex.
But Tim still luuuuves the bitch. Tell him how he can walk back in on his ex-wife, Laura. Tell him how he can make that awful bitch tell him how wonderful he is.
Oh, yes, he *is* alone. And he doesn't like it. That's why he called you.
But Laura, "that gentleman" wants to go back for more. "So abused," and now he misses it. Apparently his ex isn't willing to make his life a living hell again.
[snip] At an early stage in the call, Laura starts screaming over Annette and puts words in her mouth.
Laura's notions of femininity mostly involve ways she can get other people to do things for her -- rescue her, buy her things, do her dirty work. Oh, and she likes pretty things -- that makes her a woman.
-- scroo yoo Loo --
Not very feminine, though.
[snip] And then Marlo says her ex was abusive.
Well, the callers have been warned: Laura won't be helpful if she doesn't feeeel like it.
And if the infant had proved to be the last straw, that would have been the caller's fault, too, for bringing an innocent child into her shaky marriage.
Laura told the caller that she could have adopted out the baby -- as she could have, if there had been a way for her to keep her husband from finding out about her pregnancy and childbirth, and if she could have found adoptive parents who wouldn't have asked about her baby's father. In other words, as she could have, if she lived in Laura's World.
And thereby put a bullet through the brain of this marriage.
[snip] Laura counseled the caller to give up the infant immediately to CPS. That'll teach responsibility to that birth mother!
God allows children to be born to poor families, too, but *that* doesn't seem to bother Laura a bit. I guess it's because poor people can always adopt out their children, and get the adoptive parents to pay all their medical expenses. Lucky duckies!
[snip] Babysitting. Doing Dillon a favor.
Yeah, and he doesn't know about children, either. Which leads me to the question: why did Dillon leave her child in the care of this weirdo?
Why should the insurance company compensate Dillon's brother for damage done to his property by Dillon's child? Whatever happened to personal responsibility --
at least to the limit of Dillon's brother's deductible?
[snip] Laura hung up on Susan, after telling her she could screw her hired help who's taking care of her baby.
This was the third or fourth caller on whom Laura hung gup today. Touchy, touchy. You'd think she'd be in a good mood, with Deryk back at home.
[snip]
drj2 ...@MmmmSpam.concentric.net (Mr. Red)
I wonder if now that she's been Derky-Free since last August or September, she hates it that he's back home.
"Goddammit Lew...Why the hell did that stoopid, clumsy, useless, moocher of a kid have to come back here? Couldn't he have stayed in Michigan? I told him I'd PAY him good money to stay there instead of coming back here. What a goddamn bother...Now we have to have the servants make his bed and cook him breakfast, lunch and dinner. And he waaaants to go on my sailboat with all his stoopid friends...All they do is drive their BMWs around all day, hang out at the beach, and now they waaaaant me to take them out on my boats. To hell with THAT Bullshit."--DL Cheers, Mr. Red
--
"More and more of our imports come from overseas"
--GeeDubya Bush
neutrod ...@aol.com (John H. Smith)
She's comparing these two shows? This is to illustrate to us that she not only never watched either, she also really never really heard very much (or very accurately) either?
Nothing like the whoppers Laura is spinning today!
When did a baby ever stop Laura from "loking good". She's been 100% Babelicious for 50 some-odd years now! Right, Lew? RIGHT Lew?
To Quote "I've heard enough about both". That friends is Our Ms Laura openly, lovingly and undeniably basing her whoile opinion and her whole ATTACK on these shows on - What is it Kidddies? GOSSIP GOSSIP GOSSIP! Keep this up Laura and you're not just going to end up sewing socks that smell in hell, you'll be doing it at the right hand of the throne!
Oh now it's far enough back in the past that it wwill be hard to check. Liar.
Damn Liar!
What so he can deploy twice in the same day?
Is he supposed to deliver a scathing critique on somethging he has only experienced via Gossip and heresay?
Ewwwwww! She'll give him her cooties again!
Most of thee time that's by far the wisest way to treat anything Laura says.
Then why don't you run for Judge and see how far you can make that idea fly outside your fantasy world?
Is Durkee moonlighting doing a voice impression of Mummy?
They can try it, I wish them luck.
Which, for Laura is encouraging ssince it proves once again she is "better than" a GROWING percentage of people!
DL:"DUMP HIM NOW! You can't marry him until you're 28 & he'll be a stiff on the kitchen floor, full of maggots and being eaten by his pet parrot by then!" "Sometimes it's Harrrrrrd to be a Whoa-Man!" She has a gay husband to convert too?
I'd like a cite from the caller on that.
Yes Laura, you're everything you tell your listeners NOT to be!
Dirty Minded Psychic Laura Projects her Faults to a Fault!
Caller:"Oh yeah? Are you gonna come and throw her out & What army are you bringing to help you?" WTF? Shoulddn't she be praising the living shit out of them for coming to a decision that keeps them in the same town? SHe's circling the old brain drain..
Only 3 new rules a day, now!
Like a nickel slut. I mean, slot.
\ Let's ask old Bill BAllance about that.
DL:"So you can be properly punished." DL:"And the air is SO thin, I couldn't smell ANYTHING!" Get the LAura HAbit, it's worse than being a junkie!
Wendy:"By now I'm BETTER than almost everyone I know!" DL:"If my husband let any of HIS relatives come closer to our house than FLORIDA, I'd bash his brains in!" Put your money where your mouth is, bigmouth or shut the **** up.
And helps convince you there IS none, rihght? Come on, admit it you chicken livered bragadocio!
WOn't the kids get suspicious if they don't pretend to ccelebrate?
DL:"THen you can get in a BIG arguement with them, cut them off forever & NEVER worry about the nasty old farts again!" Psychic Projection Laura stikes again.
She didn't actually say this? Surely somebody needs it in their sig...
...
Rob tele*deletethis*m...@hotmail.com
snip I wonder what the hired help in the control room are thinking when they hear this?
Letter of the law, that's our Laura.
The kids are worried because if you die they'll get all your money. No wait. That doesn't make any sense, does it? So make a will that says they won't get anything if they're going to bug you about your safety.
No wait. That doesn't make any sense either. I'm so confused.
Rob
drj2 ...@MmmmSpam.concentric.net (Mr. Red)
I don't get MY money until my mom dies...Jeepers, that could take years...
Unless...
She has a sailboat accident She drowns in the pool She smokes something poisonous in the hookah She has a Snipe Hunting accident She pushes the wrong button at the studio and the board explodes She chokes on a Bacon Cheeseburger She drowns in a vat of gravy (which Shakespeare play is this from?) I'm gonna contact my old friends Lyle and Eric for some advice.
--Derky Cheers, Mr. Red
--
"More and more of our imports come from overseas"
--GeeDubya Bush
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