Non theist support groups
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d_cala ...@yahoo.com (Denise)
Hey ya'll I was just told I have to have a group of lumps in my breast removed.
There was a wonderful site I used to go to when I had Ovarian cancer a couple of years back. There were some folks on it that were not religious wackos. But I am having trouble finding a good message board - site - etc for this which doesn't have the "we will pray for you" etc etc crud on it.
I would like to email/etc with others who have been there done that but aren't religious.
d
"Derelict" n...@at.home
Bummer!
Shit happens. Cyber hand-hold...
"Adam Marczyk" ebonm...@deletethis.hotmail.com
In addition to a.a., you might want to check out the Internet Infidels message board on www.iidb.org; it's a very large and friendly forum and there's almost guaranteed to be someone who knows what you're going through. You have my best wishes for your speedy recovery.
--
"We have loved the stars too fondly | a.a. #2001 to be fearful of the night." | http://www.ebonmusings.org
--Tombstone epitaph of | e-mail: ebonmuse!hotmail.com two amateur astronomers, | ICQ: 8777843 quoted in Carl Sagan's _Cosmos_ | PGP Key ID: 0x5C66F737
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Enkidu enk...@leaddogs.org
I won't pray for you . . . but I'll wish you good luck, and if you live in San Diego, I'll buy you a beer after your procedure.
--
Enkidu AA# 2165 "Here we are, we're alone in the universe, there's no God, it just seems that it all began by something as simple as sunlight striking on a piece of rock. And here we are.
We've only got ourselves. Somehow, we've just got to make a go of it. We've only ourselves."
--John Osborne
"Michelle Malkin" hypati...@comcast.net
I wish you all the luck in the world, too. Please let us know how things work out.
Sean C redh...@hvc.rr.com
Have you tried alt.cancer.support? Usually the Usenet groups have *less* of the god stuff than the mailing lists, where you have to deal with people sending cutesy little angels and unicorns and all the "we'll pray for you" stuff. Also, you can lurk there for a while and get a feel for who is a rationalist, and who isn't. Maybe go there, introduce yourself, and see if there are other people who might want to start an e-mail list for non-religious types. I suggest this only as it might be difficult to find a breast cancer support group geared for non-religious people, though not necessarily impossible. Also, the Usenet groups can be a good source of info, if not support, even with all the God-crap.
Of course, you are always welcome to post here if you need to talk with someone, but as you no doubt already know, people with your illness generally understand what you're going through more than most people who haven't experienced it for themselves. I would imagine there are some women on this group who have been through what you are going through, but you might want to make a new post here with "breast cancer" or just "cancer" in the subject line, as this group gets over a thousand posts a day and your post might otherwise be missed by people who might be interested. If you don't get a response within a few days, don't be shy about posting it more than once, as it may take that to get enough responses.
I will try and do some research and see what I can discover, and will report back to this thread if I find anything.
I wish you luck and a speedy recovery, and hope everthing works out for you.
Sean C
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d_cala ...@yahoo.com (Denise)
Hey thanks everyone. I live on the East Coast. Believe me I will ask for some good meds for afterwards. Although a Guiness never hurt. I will find out more today when I meet with the surgeon. I know from my previous experiences that doctors tend to not tell you everything unless you ask very specific questions. While knowledge may terrify some, it helps me deal with things. I have been told that I don't believe in God because I like to be in control. All I have to say to that is that at least I am a benevolent dictator over my destiny.
d
d_cala ...@yahoo.com (Denise)
Hey thanks I will take your suggestion. Yeah I have too many questions now that I've seen the surgeon. She did a great job in answering the questions I gave her. But of course I keep thinking of more. - Denise
The Plasmatron plasmat...@sickof.spam
Good luck. I hope it goes well, and that they've been caught in time.
--
The Left Reverend Plasmatron at hotpop com "Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think" - Niels Bohr
stoney sto...@the.net
(snip) I suggest writing the questions down, so you can ask them later. The memory is quite a fragile thing and easily 'derailed.' Stoney "Designated Rascal and Rapscallion and SCAMPERMEISTER!" When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert alt.atheism military veteran #11 {so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
stoney sto...@the.net
Better a benevolent dictator than a malevolent and sadistic imaginary 'buddy.' Whoever told you that was lying, and was fully aware of it. According to the xtian superstition, all are mere actors in a pointless play hitting their marks and spouting their lines as was scripted eons ago.
Stoney "Designated Rascal and Rapscallion and SCAMPERMEISTER!" When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert alt.atheism military veteran #11 {so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
stoney sto...@the.net
Holy Shit! Best wishes for a complete and swift recovery.
Sorry, but I have no idea where to direct you.
Stoney "Designated Rascal and Rapscallion and SCAMPERMEISTER!" When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert alt.atheism military veteran #11 {so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
d_cala ...@yahoo.com (Denise)
Hey thanks everybody. I tried the Infidels board with no real clues as where to go. Of course there were the male comments one can expect ("well I won't get breast cancer" etc - which is not necessarily true). I went back to the board I would go to for the ovarian cancer
- got tons of info and support (and some prayers but thats ok as long as thats not all). So far its a 50/50 chance according to the surgeon- I dreamt of flipping coins all night last night. They are going to scoot some other women's appts around to squeeze me (literally -since they do a mammogram while they are doing the biopsy) in this week for a biopsy. I feel kind of guilty for making others wait. But she said their findings were less worrisome than mine. If it gets any hairier I will try some one on one support groups . To be honest, even tho I am seeking it out, other survivor stories scare the willies out of me. Breastloss, or just breast sensation loss, hairloss, fingernail loss, bloating etc then you just might die anyways... ugh. If you complain - you get uncomfortable stares and the friend you tells you to "be brave and battle it" which means "be quiet you are scaring us". I like my breasts the way they are! My husband likes them too! They have provided us with hours of fun. Really!
These are the comments I can't make on the ovarian board.So -This pisses me off!
Sean C redh...@hvc.rr.com
Hi Denise, I wasn't able to find an online breast cancer support group for atheists, but the National Alliance of Breast Cancer Organizations has some info on breast cancer as well as a list of face-to-face support groups.
http://www.nabco.org/ and a searchable list is at: http://www.nabco.org/index.php/20 There is also a large number of links to breast cancer sites with tons of info at: http://www.feminist.org/other/bc/bcinter1.html Yahoo also has a chat room for cancer: http://chat.yahoo.com/c/roomlist.html?.rmcat=1600060813 This site looks good for info, too: http://cancer.gov/cancerinformation and it has a useful link of organizations that offer services to people with cancer: http://cis.nci.nih.gov/fact/8_1.htm From my own experience dealing with chronic pain support groups.
particularly online, I can understand your frustration with the excessive, presumtious and pushy religiosity that exists in a lot of these groups. On the other hand, if you can look past that, some of these groups can be a great source of info and support, and a secular group may not necessarily be what you're looking for, either.
For example, i used to go to a face-to-face support group for pain that was run by an atheist, and at first I was delighted that no one spoke about religion, and I ***umed everyone in the group was an atheist, like me. As it turned out, the group leader was an egomaniac and ultra control-freak who had intimidated everyone else into not speaking about religion, or any other topic, including pain medications, that he didn't approve of. Most of the group members were in fact theists. It was an endless battle on my part to try and democratize that group and finally it broke up when we all got to the point we couldn't take the control bullshit any more. If you think the Jesus stuff is annoying, try listening to an atheist reciting his chronic pain poetry at every friggin meeting.
On the other hand, I have now been going to a group whose members are all religious, and there is only one other atheist besides me. Even so, there is very little discussion of God and religion. The one person who does discuss relgion, ad nauseum, is in fact one of the strongest members of the group, and though she is a fundy, she is one of the few people who truly accepts my atheism. She is also one of the few people I feel comfortable discussing my sexuality with (as the group is mostly female, and straight-laced). I find her personal determination, strength and courage to be inspiring, regardless of whether she attributes her strength to God or not, as I know it comes from her. She is outrageously funny, and cracks jokes about Jesus and talks pretty openly about her sexuality, marriage and dealing with other people, including people in her church who don't get it. This is all very helpful to me. She is surprisingly open-minded in a way the atheist leader of my former group could never be.
My point in all this is that you have to take people as individuals, and you can find the information, support and back-up you need from the most surprising sources. It doesn't cost you anything to try multiple groups and see what happens. Don''t let the Jesus stuff get you down.
Sean C
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