Global community building
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"J.Jasper" j...@housedreamland.net
This is sort of n interest of mine right now. I've got a fairly tight knit, loving family group here in the Bay area, and some of them (including myself probably) are going to be globally mobile. One is moving to Amsterdam, and I'll probably end up in Australia eventually.
So, I was thinking, having a sort of global family network might be a valuable thing if people are mobile in that sense. I'm thinking about how to deal with the desire to be informal and organic, but the possibility that some formal structure might also be useful.
One example I'm thinking about was that my family member Mik was once stranded in a foreign country without cash, having missed the last bus to a hotel that would take credit cards, and without anyone to call locally. So he slept in the airport. No big deal. in the long term.
But there might be some way to create something that would be an extended family that would help out in situations like this, or if things wend more dramatically wrong. On a local level, I'm coming to the realization that I've got that sort of situation.
But I'm thinking about the formal structures that might help such a family grow, and how to go about dealing with it on an international level.
Anyone have any thoughts?
Louise lou...@wellingtonhouse.org
By "formal structure", are you thinking about some formalized way of meeting like-minded people in strange places, or about some formalized way of representing how you're extended family to each other?
Interesting ideas. I'm reminded of Servas (is that the name of the hospitality-sharing network?) and of stuff I've read about home exchanges. When I travel, I sometimes meet up with alt.poly posters and other internet acquaintances, or attend a church which is likely to include people with similar beliefs to my own, or visit local researchers in similar fields to my own, or track down people who share my other interests.
I've never needed or wanted closer contact or more personal help when I was travelling (it's an introvert thing, I guess, and I don't feel very comfortable staying in acquaintances' houses for example), but I can see why some people would. Louise
Jim Roberts jim...@bellatlantic.net
Not my cup of tea.
jimbat
Jim Roberts jim...@bellatlantic.net
] I prefer surprises, as in the first episode of Six Feet Under, when Rachel Griffiths told Peter Krause that she would give him a "ride" at the airport. "No, not that kind of ride." She once walked through a Sydney casino nude to get attention. My wife and I want her, but have no prayer.
jimbat
"ElissaAnn" eli...@everybodycansing.com
I have a few of those on a national level, and I don't know whether they would work internationally. The contra-dance or English country dance community in most cities is very welcoming, and I'm guessing that if I went to a dance, needing a place to spend the night, I would find one. Someone would know someone I know, and I'd be vouched for. The other possibility for me would be going to a synagogue service. Hospitality is a mitzvah.
Someone would help me out.
Another example: My friend from Romania, who has been in this country for only a few months, has been finding Romanian groups who take her in and show her around. She also traveled to Canada and found Romanians there.
I don't know whether these are the sorts of things you have in mind.
Elissa
Steve D t...@loth.org.uk
[..] Sounds like the sort of thing "social networking" websites a la Orkut, Friendster, Tribe.net, *should* be useful for. I tried Orkut for a while and was not impressed. Dunno about the others.
S.
--
"Mr. Speaker, I said the honorable member was a liar it is true and I am sorry for it. The honorable member may place the punctuation where he pleases." -- Richard Brinsley Sheridan (1751-1816) British dramatist, on being asked to apologize for calling a fellow MP a liar.
s ...@panix.com (Stef)
And I got my picture taken next to a Standing Stone. :)
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Stef ** avid/sensible/sensual/wise/essential/elemental/tangle ** s...@cat-and-dragon.com <*> http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef ** I think that most people, in the presence of true community, would be terrified. Because it's demanding and intolerant. It's harsh. It's cruel. For all of its kindness and generosity to those who belong, it's generally not very kind to those who are not. -- John Perry Barlow
"J.Jasper" j...@housedreamland.net
Possibly both. I've seen chaotic attempts at community, and I've seen overly rigid ones. Neither appeal to me. I'm interested in what works given a reasonably similar set of core values (tolerance of polyamory, kink, geekdom, etc...). I'm not sure what those values would be. I'm also interested in the formal or informal adding or subtracting of people to the community for various reasons such as "breakups" or marriages, etc...
I think I'm interested in something a bit more committed than that.
It's not necessarily just a "help while travelling" thing, but more of an extended poly network or family thing. I'm not sure what to call it, or even if it needs a name. It's nascent, but i have the idea that I'm at the start of something, and would like to think and explore what it might become, and possibly nudge in that direction with like minded people in the core group I'm with.
I hope that makes some sense.
-Josh
"J.Jasper" j...@housedreamland.net
Wow. That's open and generous of you. I've hosted some people form this group, and probably would in the future depending on the people.
I'm thinking in terms of structure for who gets into the group, what ways they might come and go, how much to share, etc... This (as I said upthread) would to my mind be something that looks more like a family with some sense of commitment to each other. I'm noodling about the permutations and possible structure vs. free form needs this whatsit might have.
-Josh
ser ...@serenepages.org (serene)
Wombats are like that; alt.polyites can be like that; churches are like that. However, I thought Josh was talking more about people who know each other and are part of each other's extended family, of a sort.
serene, finishing early dinner, heading off to clean the car out and sleep before driving to the Bay Area for a (meep!) job interview tomorrow
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"songbird" songb...@anthive.com
...
*nods* i think i would be ok extending credit to someone if i knew someone else that would vouch for them (depending upon the amount). for a few bucks. i'd not bother.
but beyond that. yes, i'd want a reference. if i was expecting to see any of it coming back.
a book of short stories i just finished a few nights ago contained a story about a culture where people had PDAs and were prompted to do things for others based upon some way of knowing their need for something (and how it went awry). it's in Bruce Sterling's _a good old fashioned future_, the first story. there are probably other explorations of the concept out there too. it's more extreme than what you are sounding like you are interested in...
from what i can tell many people in various sub-cultures are willing to extend some resources based upon references and "a friend of my friend is someone i can be ok with" basis.
for me, first line is family [well ok, i wouldn't expect all of my family to do much, but i think some of them would be there for me], after family there are friends and many of my friends are not local. so it is tough to expect much from them. often with some things by the time my friends hear about it there's not much they can do because it's done and there's not much else to be done other than talk about it and lessons learned and so on.
trust networks and tracking of contacts so that if someone treats someone else badly then it is possible to figure out where the failure happened and mark things as suspect. this can be all done on-line and using public keys type crypto.
i'd also make it mandatory that there be multiple forms of id and references (with the ratings kept available and points of failure being public knowledge so that the entire web can use that as a basis for making decisions about where to send someone for what kind of help, etc.) :) got some of 'em.
songbird *peep*
"songbird" songb...@anthive.com
i find hotels pretty harsh and they don't appeal to me unless i know that there is someone there i can talk to from time to time, if i'm by myself, i mean.
yep. makes sense to me.
one thing i always worry about with any kind of shared resource is that then no one in particular feels any sense of ownership, so things get rundown and abused a little more heavily than they might otherwise be. i mean i know i try to drive rental cars just like i drive my own car, but that doesn't mean i worry about every little thing the same way.
it's that kind of "wear creep" that i see being a major problem in any type of group situation where the group isn't always composed of people who interact with each other on a fairly constant level.
songbird *peep*
"songbird" songb...@anthive.com
...
woo!
songbird *peep*
"J.Jasper" j...@housedreamland.net
<nods> That's pretty much what I'm talking about.
<fingers crossed>
Jim Roberts jim...@bellatlantic.net
Tempus fugit, and you must let it. A lesson I learned the hard way several times. I don't have to worry about that sort of thing anymore, since my wife will stick to me like a barnacle. Sorry, that's not an image that does her credit. She's just the most loyal woman I have ever met, except perhaps for my old love Sarah, who has stuck to her husband for almost 30 years, who has no particularly spectacular attributes that I can discern, after nearly marrying me. My best friend ever, who died in a plane crash in 1966, would heve been the perfect husband for her: adventures and would crack her up morning, noon, and night. And he could **** for 6 hours, beyond my abilities without Viagra, which *does* last longer than 4 hours, a good reason to have two wives.
jimbat
Pat Kight kig...@peak.org
Bed & breakfasts, where available, and B&B-style hotels, more than solve this problem for me. And I've found that, at least in this region, they're often less expensive than sterile, boring chain hotels and motels, too.
I've had the most wonderful conversations with strangers sitting around the living room, library or patio in various B&Bs ...
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Pat Kight kig...@peak.org
ser ...@serenepages.org (serene)
As a general rule, I treat money I lend as though I have given it away.
Most of the time, I get it back, but when I don't, I've already moved on as though I never expected it back. I'm not all that attached to my stuff, except the stuff I actively need, and it would be unusual for me to lend something I really need to anyone except my chosen family.
serene
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"songbird" songb...@anthive.com
there's one just down the road from me :) i've yet to go in there. i've lusted after the place ever since i set my leetle beedy eyes upon it as it has some good stone work.
i've often thought of trying a B&B instead for various trips, but it's not happened yet. these days i'm either going to Cons or on a family vacation when i stop at a hotel so i know someone there.
*nods* songbird *peep*
Cally Soukup sou...@pobox.com
Best of luck!
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"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." -- Beatrice Hall Cally Soukup sou...@pobox.com
Pat Kight kig...@peak.org
Well, I don't know how likely it is you'll ever find yourself allllll the way out here on the Left Coast, but if you do, I can highly recommend: http://www.sylviabeachhotel.com/ and http://www.manresacastle.com/ I stayed at the latter last weekend, and the former is simply the most pleasing place I can imagine for a book-lover to spend some time.
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Pat Kight kig...@peak.org
Jim Roberts jim...@bellatlantic.net
The last time my wife stayed in a B&B, in Oneida, NY, we were regaled with a tale about how our A-bombs were not nearly enough retribution for Pearl Harbor, which was a strictly military attack. I consider dropping those bombs to be war crimes, so we couldn't get out of there fast enough. We haven't stayed in an American B&B since. The chain motels are better, anyway.
jimbat
Steve D t...@loth.org.uk
That sounds familiar. My one exception is books. If I've kept a book, it's because I'm expecting to want to re-read it at some point in the future. It drives me apeshit when people don't give back books I've leant them - infuriates me. I keep telling myself I should stop lending them out, maybe just email them links to the appropriate page at Amazon or something..
S.
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"Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?"
alt.p ...@chromatic-dragonfly.com (Teal)
I deal with that problem by keeping a "loan book" in which I record what books I lend to whom and when. That way if I want to find out where a certain book is I can check, and if I want to confirm how long so-and-so has had a book, like wise it's all there,recorded in my loan book . which makes it easy to chase up books I'm missing, and to note who does not return books. If a book doesn't get returned and I don't lend that person any more. Simple.
Teal
"ElissaAnn" eli...@everybodycansing.com
I definitely think of those communities as extended family. I haven't met everyone in my bio family, either.
Good luck!
Elissa
a ...@pobox.com (Mean Green Dancing Machine)
That's more-or-less my attitude, except that there are a few people who I wouldn't trust to tell me the truth about being stuck. So I wouldn't want to say "everyone".
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--- Aahz <*> (Copyright 2004 by a...@pobox.com) Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6 http://rule6.info/ Androgynous poly kinky vanilla queer het Pythonista Dick Cheney doesn't want his lesbian daughter to marry. That shows his family values.
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