ADHD Child - Advice on medication, sleep, behavior
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chaz ...@yahoo.com (chaz)
Hi, My girlfriend of 5 months has 2 children from a previous marriage. The daughter is 4 and the son is 7. They are both great children. The boy (7) has ADHD, which is a new experience for me. I taught sunday school years ago and had parents who had ADHD kids, and I always thought it was a hoax sort of thing. Being around her son however shows me I know little about the condition.
Not wanting to label or "bash" him, let me say I like him, albeit he is a little harder to get close to. And this brings me to my questions. He was on adderall, which is a stimulant known to work on the symtoms of ADHD. It did however, make him emotionally "liable".......crying for no reason (and I mean zero reson) and unable to adjust normally. He was recently changed over to ritalin, which has proved effective, but if he takes an afternoon dose (ther first does wears off around 3pm) he CANNOT sleep. It seems a catch-22 in regards to medication.....for one thing it takes away, it adds another. The sleep thing is killing the Mother as you can imagine. If he doesnt take the ritalin, he is climbing the walls, etc.
He is causing his mother a lot of stress with all of this and with his every day behavior. He is controlling, mamipulative, albeit in a quiet way. He reacts poorly to correction, reacts poorly when he doesnt get the answer he wants. He asks for more cookies last night, his mother tells him she feels he has had enough, and he cries and stomps off, beyond what I consider normal (nope, I am no expert, just judging from my own childrens behhavior). It is normal to whine and complain at the word NO, but this is way beyond that.
His mother is tired, and I am so unqualified to advise her. He isnt a demon, but he is a really difficult child to raise. I feel her pain....it is affecting her, and the younger daughter. I keep my distance not feeling justified in telling her how or what should be done (mostly because I know I dont have a clue) I know how I react with my own children, but hers arent mine.
What kind of discipline works with a child like this? He is so good at turning on and off the emotions to get his way its not even funny. I am not sure he does it consciously, but he does do it. I am sure he has "learned" this along the way, and in his own defense, his life has not been a cake walk. But he lives in a nice home and his mother does a great job providing for him.
She and I are able to discuss these issues on a healthy level, and still, I dont know how to help, guide, advise or even be quiet. She has asked for my suport and help, which I give, sometimes I just dont know "how".
I feel like I have been dropped into a novel at the halfway point and wanting to understand the plot and how to proceed to the next page. I hope I dont come across the wrong way here, I dont want to make him dissappear, just able to cope from day to day. I want him to be HAPPY in life, with or without medication.
chaz-
"Sue" sburke9...@wideopenwest.com
There are behavior modification cl***es that help with ADHD. My nephew is ADHD and is on Adderall. His medication wears off after school and is a bear to be around, but I can tell when he is on his medication. You can do a search on the internet that will help you and the mom with disiplining.
Also, seeing a psychologist and behavior modification specialist would probably be the most help. CHADD is a group for ADD and they are a wealth of information.
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Sue mom to three girls ...
"just me" nos...@here.com
Medication for ADD/H is designed to allow the person with it to have the space, induced by medication, to learn skills to manage the symptoms effectively. Many individuals do not require life long medications if they are offered decent behavioral and cognitive counseling to help them identify their symptoms, learn management techniques and practice them with knowledgeable support. I second the suggestion to seek a counselor and behavioral analyst. I also suggest that a return trip to the psychiatrist to discuss the problem you are describing with the Ritalin. There are several different medications designed to address ADD/H symptoms and for each one there are several different methods of delivery, including timed release. That *might* be what you are looking for to help with the evening hyperactivity, as well as a consistent, highly predictable routine for the youth so that they are more able to deal with the transition from school to home successfully.
Good luck!
-Aula
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hte2 ...@hotmail.com (Vincent)
"Vincent" The Adderall medication now comes in time released for just that problem. It seems to work great and only has to be given once a day.
"Vincent" They have recently released an adderal (time released) take one a day lasts all day. It seems to work great.
kit ...@whitepine.com (Caitriona Mac Fhiodhbhuidhe)
If the Ritalin is doing well while it is in his system, you may wish to ask abt Concerta. It has the same med that is in Ritalin (methylphenidate), but in a 12hr osmotic release system. YS did well with Concerta in the year he was taking meds for his AD/HD. When we started homeschooling, he chose work on learning to deal with his challenges without meds.
Kitten =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= You can always tell a Texan, but you can't tell him much. - Chris Wall =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Courage, Real courage, is no quick fix. It doesn't come in a bottle or a pill, It comes from discipline. From taking everything life hands you and being your best either because of it or in spite of it.
-- Ty Murray =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
margal ...@yahoo.com (chiam margalit)
You're probably right. Adhd kids are very very tough to parent. They have a lot of emotional issues on top of being wound tighter than tops. Most doctors will tell you that relying solely on medication for a cure isn't going to cut it. Most adhd kids need congnative behavioural therapy to help them deal with their everyday difficulties. If it's possible to help this mom get that type of help, it would be a good thing for her and the children.
What you can do is be really supportive. So many people blame the parents for having out of control kids, and it usually isn't bad parenting at all. These are kids that have little impulse control, and are running on full steam. It's hard to be a kid like this. Most of them spend the school day trying to contain themselves and when they get home, all hell breaks loose. Dinnertime is usually totally disasterous, night after night. In fact, it's so notoriously bad that one of the medications, it might be Strattera, has an ad that focusses on having a normal dinner! I'd kill for one, myself. :-) Discipline is tough with adhd kids. I've been most successful with 1-2-3 Magic because it allows me to disengage from the arguments. I think it works especially well for adhd kids.
Well, I'm a single mom to 2 adhd kids, so I might be able to shed some light on the subject. She's probably exhausted. Provide dinners, even if it's pizza or mac and cheese. Take the kid out and let her catch up on her sleep. See if you can arrange a Big Brother for the boy, so that mom has some time to spend with the daughter. Adhd kids need a lot of one-on-one time, so anything you can think of to entertain him outside athletically would be good, depending on what he likes. And listen to the mom. Sometimes it's just important to be able to vent about how much life can suck with a kid like this. It's so hard, an emotional rollercoaster going warp speed.
Good description. Therapy would be helpful for the boy. It really does work.
Marjorie
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