overview of behavior modification
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ksco ...@ILSTU.EDU (Karen S. Coats)
For those who are interested, here's an overview of cl***ic behavior modification techniques: There are generally four possibilities with four projected outcomes: 1. Positive reinforcement for positive behavior: the behavior will continue.
2. Negative reinforcement for negative behavior: the behavior will continue.
3. Positive reinforcement for negative behavior: the behavior will continue.
4. Ignoring negative behavior: the behavior will eventually stop.
Reinforcement includes verbal praise or verbal chastisement and fussing, intentional and unintentional "rewards" (like when you send your child to her room and she'd actually rather be there), attention of any kind.
Problems: 1. The methods are counterintuitive, so it's really hard to be consistent.
If you are trying to stop a behavior, you can't respond to it at all, not even a little bit ever. (Consider gamblers--they only require a teensy weensy bit of encouragement to keep them going.) 2. There is no recognition of the unconscious, which leads us to do things against our own best interests sometimes. In fact, there's very little recognition of any sort of human cognition in this theory. It was developed using animals (Pavlov's dogs), and it depends on us being manipulated by our trainers, rather than self-aware human beings with complex motivations and thought processes. Now, children are a bit like puppies, in that they respond best to exuberant praise and exaggerated frowns, and, like puppies, continue the behaviors they've learned under the stimulus after the stimulus has actually been removed (so while you may start with extravagant praise, you can scale it back and finally abandon it once the behaviour is firmly established.) But, as it was developed with animals, consider well whether you want to continue with it as your child ages. At some point it seems to me that you cross a line between respecting your child as a person who has every right to make bad decisions, and a mindless puppet who can be manipulated into doing what you want.
On the other hand, using it with your kids when they're young trains YOU to focus on the positive, and everyone around you benefits from that.
best, Karen (whose husband used to be really scared she'd use behavior modification techniques on him, and for some reason, isn't anymore--I'm just SOOOOO proud of him when he isn't being paranoid...wink, wink, teeeheeee)
sjd ...@AOL.COM (Sandy Dodd)
karen - thanks for sharing these. i'm sure whoever noted them was experienced, but i am just curious how they feel about ignoring negative behaviors that then don't stop - the ones that just get worse and worse.
of course i'm not talking about taking shoes off, or gurgling back into a straw instead of sucking, or blowing raspberries...
i am talking about the child who sticks his hand in the toilet bowl after using it, or who pulls the toilet paper out till its a mile long...all because he is not successful toileting alone.
i'm not sure how ignoring this type of negative behavior is effective.
sandy mom to erick (5, ds) who is capable of many interesting behaviors
ksco ...@ILSTU.EDU (Karen S. Coats)
At 08:58 AM 11/3/00 -0500, you wrote: We're fortunate in that Em's pronunciation isn't that great--so I for a while at least I can tell my mom, "gosh, she must want us to SIT down!" "Dammit?" oh no, mom, that must have been "donut!" Em just looks at me and grins. :-) best, Karen (whose daughter, unfortunately, picks up most of her bad habits at home!)
ksco ...@ILSTU.EDU (Karen S. Coats)
Dear Sandy, This is a good example of the limits of the theory--a psychoanalytic reading of this behavior would probably run something like this--the child is testing the limits of his mom's love. Will she still love me if I do THIS? Or how about THIS? I know she thinks this is totally gross and/or unacceptable--does she think I'm gross and unacceptable too? So withholding "love" (by ignoring the behavior) doesn't encourage the child to stop, but rather to continue the test, and to feel just awful when mom is displeased.
Stopping the behavior, and showing (not just telling) the child that you still love him seems to be a better option to shorten the duration of the behavior.
best, Karen
NRENGSTO ...@GOMEMBERS.COM (Nicol Rengstorff)
Since my son is very verbal his behavior problems or more of that nature.
Unfortunatly he has picked up some "choice" words from either the older kids in the neighborhood or who knows where. And when he says these of course it is our first reaction to say "ALEX!!!" no bad words. But they continue. I am trying now to ignore them but when in public it is embarrasing. It is especially hard to get everyone around him to ignore him as well when he says these things.
For example, last night my mother, sister and myself took him to Disney on Ice and he was very tired on the way home and was becoming verbally abusive such as telling my mother to shut up. My mother knows how we are trying to handle this but of course her reaction is "I'm not talking to you if you say that".
I guess it's a work in progress but can be very draining and frustrating.
Nicol -mother of Alex (ds) 9years old
NRENGSTO ...@GOMEMBERS.COM (Nicol Rengstorff)
I will have to admit. My son likes to watch sports especially football and he does pick up some choice words from my other half and his friends during the game.
Nicol NOW THE TRUTH COMES OUT! -mother of Alex (ds) 9years old My daughters pick up bad words when they watch me and Mum driving O:-) Alberto Monteiro, father of Ana Silvia (10, DS), Natalia (7, NDA), Bernardo (1y minus 3days, NDA)
albm ...@CENTROIN.COM.BR (Alberto Monteiro)
My daughters pick up bad words when they watch me and Mum driving O:-) Alberto Monteiro, father of Ana Silvia (10, DS), Natalia (7, NDA), Bernardo (1y minus 3days, NDA)
sjd ...@AOL.COM (Sandy Dodd)
the other day we went to see a new doctor. erick's behavior was appalling, i wanted to smash him! it wasn't helping that the doctor laughed at his antics (initially) - which encouraged him even more.
he was sitting in the chair across from the doctor, and said, "ohhhhh, my ballllssssss" the doctor was cracking up..."did he just say what i think he said?" (chuckle, chuckle) and i said, "yeppp". he said, "where did he get thatttt frommmm?" - and i said, "playing football with his dad...and it doesn't help that you're laughing!!!" as if this were not bad enough, this was shortly followed by him rubbing his forehead and shaking his head while saying, "damnnnn"...
sandy (don't ask where he gets this from...) mom to erick
NRENGSTO ...@GOMEMBERS.COM (Nicol Rengstorff)
Thanks Sandy, I sympothize that's for sure. Understand what you are going through.
Perhaps we should have them watch ice skating????
Nicol -mother of Alex (ds) 9years old the other day we went to see a new doctor. erick's behavior was appalling, i wanted to smash him! it wasn't helping that the doctor laughed at his antics (initially) - which encouraged him even more.
he was sitting in the chair across from the doctor, and said, "ohhhhh, my ballllssssss" the doctor was cracking up..."did he just say what i think he said?" (chuckle, chuckle) and i said, "yeppp". he said, "where did he get thatttt frommmm?" - and i said, "playing football with his dad...and it doesn't help that you're laughing!!!" as if this were not bad enough, this was shortly followed by him rubbing his forehead and shaking his head while saying, "damnnnn"...
sandy (don't ask where he gets this from...) mom to erick
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