OT: Don't take the kids!!
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"benmax" Ben....@btinternet.com
The notion that children should be neither seen or heard in 'polite society' is a social construct. It appears to be that some folk think that children are disabling to one's social standing, that children do not have a part in society or that children need not be treated with the same respect that other human beings are. But then we only have to look at the discriminatory practices of most states (i.e. countries not just US states) to realise that this attitude of intolerance towards others is common practice.
Maybe as mothers, we should be fighting for the rights of our children to take part in our lives and not hiding them away in case they embarr*** us.
Nan
"Pat Porter" pat.por...@ntlworld.com
I`d say don`t take the kids unless they can behave and be polite!
On our recent holiday, our meal at a restaurant was ruined by two small boys who were allowed to bounce around and crawl after each other through the tables - a constant irritation to everyone.
At the hotel a 3 year-old girl was a delight - sat and behaved herself at table, (quietly singing to herself at times). She was a pleasure to have around.
Children do have a part in society, but the parents should insist on consideration for others. I found it very sad that people were surprised that our son said "please" and "thankyou" and held doors open for people.
My response was that he would have been in serious trouble if he`d behaved in any other way!
Pat P.
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aka Attila the Hen ...
Jenn Ridley jrid...@chartermi.net
I dislike being bothered by other people's children *misbehaving* when I am out, *especially* on the rare occasions when I do not have my children with me. There is very little worse than having a quiet night out ruined by a pair of rowdy boys at the other end of the restaurant (BTDT). Well-behaved children, on the other hand, are just fine. I do not believe that children should be seen and not heard, but I don't want to hear them across the restaurant. I have had wonderful conversations at wedding receptions with 4 year olds. I've also been to a couple of wedding receptions where the kids ruined the party for everyone.
I don't believe that *anybody* has the right to disturb other people when they are in public. That goes for children, as well. I try very hard to keep my kids under control when we go out...my 9 yo has figured it out quite well..the 4 yo has been removed from a few places for discussions (then we go back in, and he's just fine).
It has nothing to do with "being embarr***ed"....I don't like being annoyed by other people's children, and I ***ume that other people don't want to be annoyed by mine. It's the old "golden rule".
my .02, jenn
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Jenn Ridley jenn.rid...@gt.org WIP: Late Victorian dresses, Betsy Stinner's Elizabethan sampler, Noah's Journey, Glory, ANG's Emperor's Coat Most recently Finished: Scary Scraps, Edwardian Dresses, Easter Dresses, LK Joy
ruth409 ...@aol.comJacques (Ruth409028)
Only 1 of my 4 tried to embarr*** me in public. I sat down on the cornerstone, drew him across my lap, pulled off my shoe and proceeded to whop the daylights out of him. The other 3 learned real quick and never tried it. Nor did he try it a second time. LFrances Take Jacques out before replying.
Sally beadl...@rmi.net
Although I agree with your tactics, (I think a little fear is probably a good thing!), you'd probably be thrown in jail if you tried that here in my town.
Last week, police came and ticketed some teenagers just because they had an "in your face" kind of argument. Nobody touched anybody. To me, this is getting just crazy.
:( Sally
"Louise Sugar" dragon...@bayonne.myip.org
sounds like the one where the kindergartners were suspended for pointing a finger gun and saying "Bang bang you're dead!" and my son (age 8) got a 'warning' from school because he told the kid who was bullying him that he was going to punch him....he got caught..the other kid didn't ...
"Pat Porter" pat.por...@ntlworld.com
While I can`t agree with whopping the daylights out of a child with ANY instrument, a good slap of the legs stings enough to impart the message without causing any injury! I do agree with you that the punishment should be immediate, not of the "wait until I get you home" variety, though!
Pat P.
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"Scarlet Apex" pelir...@stny.rr.com
I don't have children. And I'd like to have them. That said, I don't like kids who can't or won't behave. I spend a fair amount of time with kids because a fair number of my friends have them. All of them are for the most part a joy to be out in public with--and when they are not, they are quickly removed by the parents. I don't object to children, I object to children (and parents or other adult guardians) who seem to think that they have a right to impose their mist behavior on me.
Isabel
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Essence Bottle Self-Designed Project Bird Quilt ...
"kvgates" kenv...@att.net
I am so happy to read this thread!!! I have a quite precocious 5 year old who is very polite in public because we expect him to be, and make sure that he is. I always get comments as to how well behaved he and his older sister are and I am pleased. However, we are often out with their cousins who are allowed to *ramble* and *explore* and generally annoy the general public, and we are always amazed at how their parents (my DB and wife) think it is so cute how they get into things. By the time we get through one afternoon with them I am annoyed and frustrated.
I am so glad there are others out there that do not buy into the *childhood is short, so let them be* theory that so many people seem to follow these days. My dear children's childhood would be short, indeed, if they behaved this way!!! (smirk). As would mine have been.
Vicki ...
b ...@midamer.net (PaulaB)
> >Nan
> No matter how hard we try, or how well-behaved our kids normally are, they all have times when they are going to mess up. And you know what? There are times when I mess up, too! I am glad my friends give me and my children a little grace and do not insist that everyone be perfect all the time. A little problem with a child in public is not a big deal (when it's someone else's child) if the parents are trying to deal with it and it's not a huge, loud, ongoing thing. My children have embarr***ed me a few times, but according to most people we know, they are good kids. It's when they're not sorry that I start to worry.
Once, when my DS was about 14 and was thinking that Mom is really getting dumb, I told him that if he didn't straighten up I was going to put duct tape on his legs and rip all his hair (and he's got a lot) out in strips. He straightened up! Right then! Of course, I would never do that, but we have a few signals like that - I can say something that sounds ridiculous, but that is a cue to him that the fuse is getting pretty short and he'd better not push me. Sometimes it just lightens him up enough that he quits pushing the limits. So far, so good - he'll be 18 later this month. (Fingers crossed!) Paula B.
"Pat Porter" pat.por...@ntlworld.com
LOL! John used to threaten our kids "If you don`t behave I`ll rip your arm off and beat you over the head with the soggy stump!" Pat P.
PaulaB wrote > Once, when my DS was about 14 and was thinking that Mom is really
Alison Hendon ali...@vabish.com
Like the little boy in the library who wandered over to the metal reference desk and started pounding on it (creating a loud loud drum noise). His father said, isn't that cute, he's going to be a drummer!
Once was sort of cute; when he did it again, cuteness had fled.
Alison
"Pat Porter" pat.por...@ntlworld.com
Oh this rang bells! When my sister-in-law used to turn up with her two small boys, I used to fly around putting everything out of reach! Otherwise their inquisitive little fingers would grab ANYTHING that wasn`t nailed down. She would never try to stop them.
Funnily enough she used to put them out in the street most of the time - she couldn`t put up with that in her house. Anyone else`s didn`t seem to matter!
Pat P.
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candyc ...@aol.com (CandyCorr)
How about this one. I took the car to be washed yesterday. This is one where you leave the car and meet it at the other end.
There is a waiting area with a barrier and a sign to not go beyond this point until you are called to claim your car. The reason for the sign is quite plain, there is a lot of traffic as cars enter and exit the conveyor belt. A woman, with two small children, age 1 1/2 and 4, stood there and let the children run into the danger zone, until the owner finally retrieved them and returned them to her requesting she keep them behind the barrier. Three minutes later they were back on the wrong side and she made no move to retrieve them, until someone else brought it to her attention. She then asked the children if they were deaf, didn't they hear what the owner had said. She told them that it was bad enough when they didn't pay attention to her, but now they weren't paying attention to strangers. It seemed to me Mom wasn't exactly big on paying attention herself.
Candy
cperk ...@stemnet.nf.ca (Cheryl L. Perkins)
: In the bookstore yesterday, there were a family of children, with the parents.
: They were all laying and sitting in different positions on the floor. Nobody : could walk past any of them, including the mother who was literally laying on : the floor with her toddler...in the book store. A used book store, at that. As : she lay on the floor with the one child, one of her other ones was playing with : a book which makes a sound. It was the sound of a bicycle horn. The kid was : pushing the button, continuously for 10 minutes. People were all annoyed, yet, : nobody said a thing. I just left the store. What would you have done? : It's not like these parents gave two rats behinds about anyone around them, : because they were very involved with this behavior, with the kids.
: v If they are actually in your way, stand up right next to them (in their space) and say, as loudly and firmly and often as necessary 'Excuse me, I'd like to get by.' And keep repeating it with suitable variations 'Oh, I couldn't squeeze by there; I might trip over your child' or 'I need to get at THAT shelf' etc until you get a result.
I'm not sure about the child and the book; I usually try to ignore noisy children in public, but you could ask to look at the book (maybe you want it for an imaginary child) or ask the mother if she couldn't give the child another book.
The floor-sitting itself wouldn't bother me, I do it in libraries and bookstores, but of course, I get out of the way when I see someone coming.
Cheryl
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Cheryl Perkins cperk...@stemnet.nf.ca
"Pat Porter" pat.por...@ntlworld.com
Oh you`re DEVIOUS, but I love it!
One of my pet peeves is the kids who throw their bicycles down across the pavement or the doorway while they dive into the sweet shop! I swear that next time I`ll "accidentally" step right in the middle of the wheel!!!
Pat P.
Founder member of the Grump Old Women Society.
Tara D wrote <snip> As she lay on the floor with the one child, one of her other ones was playing with a book which makes a sound of a bicycle horn. The kid was pushing the button, continuously for 10 minutes. People were all annoyed, yet, nobody said a thing. I just left the store. What would you have done?
Sheena Mackenzie she...@ns.sympatico.ca
People like that make me believe in eugenics. Sheena
"Christy" christin...@yahoo.com
Is there a minimum age requirement to your Grumpy Old Women Society??
I'd like to join too!!
Christine ...
akmor ...@icok.net (Amy B.)
On Sun, 8 Jul 2001 11:57:02 +0100, "Pat Porter" My mom once got so frustrated with my little sister (7 years old at the time) that she said, "Stop that or I will rip your arms off!" Sister looked a little dismayed and then put her hands on her hips and said, "My teacher will be mad at you if you do that - she's *trying* to teach me to write better!" :-) My dad's all time favorite and my favorite comeback was "I'll rip your ears off!" "But Dad, then my gl***es will slide off." Amy
Mary Fitzpatrick m...@citynet.net
My mother's "threat" was "I'll knock your two heads together" when my sister and I started to bicker. She only had to do it once. (My sister has the hardest head imagineable.) And when her children wouldn't eat, my grandmother's response was "Eat it or wear it." Her 3 daughters-in-law and daughter have all used it. Makes everyone smile.
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Liz Hampton l...@echoweb.net
Same with my family. My parents couldn't afford much when my sisters (& I) were very young. Chances were that they couldn't afford both a night out AND a babysitter. We learned early in my family how to eat and act like ladies whether we were out or at home. My sisters kids are also great to take out in public. Yes, they are normal active kids & all have their "possessed by demons" moments, but DH (who is NOT a "kid person") and I are always willing to take them out at least once when they come up to visit.
Early training makes a HUGE difference, but it has to be reinforced at home.
My dad used to threaten us with having to eat in the bathtub. :-)))) Liz from Humbug
Liz Hampton l...@echoweb.net
I think this calls for a special chart just for us "Grumpy Old (or not so old <lol>) Ladies. Maybe a grumpy old lady angel from Marilyn in her spare time??? :-)) Liz from Humbug
b ...@midamer.net (PaulaB)
Or maybe a "Listen, Honey,"...As in: Listen, Honey, anyone with asbestos underwear can read RCTN! <VBEG> I could think of LOTS more for this!
Paula B.
b ...@midamer.net (PaulaB)
And when her children wouldn't eat, my grandmother's I'll never forget the day when 3 YO DS woke up from his nap at about 4 pm with the peas from lunch still in his cheek. I realized then that Yes, he really did hate them, and No, he wouldn't be malnourished if he never ate them again. 15 years later, he still hates them. There are some things you just can't threaten out of a kid! ;-) Paula B.
soprano ...@aol.comnospam (Laura Landis)
When my dd was little (she's 12 now), I could take her virtually anywhere and she would behave very well (most of the time!). When she started misbehaving, we would quietly discourage the behavior and then take any additional steps necessary. She was one of those kids who was deterred by the threat of a punishment. I now know that I was SO lucky with her. Our ds is almost 2 and I have quickly learned that unless it's a very short stop at certain shops (the LNS, for one) I can't take him with me. The ladies at the LNS love to see him but he's just too rambunctious to be contained for more than a few minutes so it's usually picking up something I've ordered where they already have my package behind the counter or I wait until I can go without him or during the week when the shop isn't as busy. The last time we did that, he sat on the floor with his cars and the shelf on the table in front of him was just his height and he cleared a couple of items off and played quietly long enough for me to quickly shop. Then we replaced the items (which, by the way, were wrapped items, not flosses, fabrics or patterns), he gave hugs and kisses to the ladies and we left with smiles all around. Too bad it doesn't always work that way, but I think everyone just needs to know their own child's limitations. Laura My stitching this year is dedicated to completing at least one project per month. Bonus points will be given if it's a UFO!
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