anger management
Related Topics
"Judy" jal...@easynet.co.uk
When someone is under pressure, they become vulnerable to all kinds of exploitation.
When someone with sz is experiencing difficulties, people try to bring them back to something that presents like 'normal' and they will use all manner of methods to do that.
I have gotten angry lots of times, and I post it here. I feel that nobody really bothers about my angry comments because I am not really considered to be 'one of the group'.
But it was benefiicial 'to me' to post my comments, because I took them from inside my head where they were doing me damage, and put them here, where nobody cares about it.
And when I look back at my posts here, the angry ones, they don't look angry to me anymore. They are my record.
There should be a thread where people can store comments about their angry feelings and not be expected to explain them or justify them, just to let it go.
Once something has been said, an angry comment, it is trying to let itself go, but people try to keep it in place by wanting to know what it was about, or by teling the other person they have no right to be so angry, in such a way increasing the pressure on the person who is trying to let go of their anger.
Judy
damod ...@webtv.net (String Twanger VII)
Gribit.
Hi Judy.
It always amazes me how sometimes such poignent posts can be apparently ignored and sometimes the most casual remark can grow ito a monster size thread.
Jug-a-rum.
I think I'm turning into a frog.
Damofroggy
James ja...@yahoo.com
Don't worry Judy, I don't seem to be one of the group either.
James I live in my own little world...
But it's okay- they know me there
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"Adamski_Rasputin" adamskiraspu...@yahoo.com
James schreef: Being sz is a lonely thing even in an support group.
I just sit here getting the daily day writing out an sometimes i get comments, even angry comments .
But I don't care, i have a right to be here like you have a right to be here.
If you want to be part of the incrowd of this group you need to respond to a lot of threads and be online for hours and hours responding on post by post so a long thread occurs.
Don't let this newsgroup get to personal for you like when you suffer in silence because of some comments you get, then this is not an support group any longer. Never take a comment too personal..
Always leave this newsgroup with a smile.
AR
"Adamski_Rasputin" adamskiraspu...@yahoo.com
Adamski_Rasputin schreef: Now I come to think of it, if you are from Europe than you have a big problem getting to the incrowd which is American because they communicate in the night and you can only post a post and give a response a day after and in the meantime the thread is all blown up so your answer is lost.
But that is how it is.
AR
"Judy" jal...@easynet.co.uk
I wasn't complaining about it AR, it was just an observation. I've been involved with this group since the late 90's. It just made it easier for me to write things that I felt angry about here, I think most times we (sz's) are dealing with a floating anger. It attaches to us and it finds its direction in our lives. It is good to have a place to put it so that it is prevented from doing damage.
JudyI
"Judy" jal...@easynet.co.uk
It isnt a worry James, it was actually very helpful for the reasons I outlined in my response to AR.
thanks anyway, and good luck yourself.
Judy
"Judy" jal...@easynet.co.uk
Hello Damo, If someone reads it who can use that information to help themselves, then that is all that really matters.
I'd keep away from the frogs you know, they got downed some years ago as I recall.
Judy
"Judy" jal...@easynet.co.uk
It's almost impossible for us to reconcile something within us that is not 'of ourselves', especially if we believe it to be our own.
The voices and thoughts are not 'ourselves', they are something other than us, and get to us, initially because they often use our own voice.
They are there, and it feels as if there is little we can do about it, but we can find a way of dealing with the situation better if we at least acknowledge that is not ourselves, and then look for ways in which the impact on us is lessened.
We don''t have to know what it is, or how to deal with the whole problem, that may not be ours to deal with. Start off by doing the bits that we can do easiest, how to stop its impact on us.
Judy
"Gelly" Gell...@gmail.com
Like the idea for a thread just for venting anger and stuff. A lot of times there is no place to go with that, and if you do start to talk about it then people do, like you said, feel obliged to try to _change_ it in some way.
I wish now I had a written record of all the things that happened during some different difficult times.
If you start one I'll help keep it going for a while, see what happens
"Luke Flyswatter" chewie_r...@hotmail.com
Midip.
Eerrrrup midip.
Bats are cool too. They also eat mosquitos.
Either your with the frogs and bats or with the mosquitos.
Take your pick.
"Judy" jal...@easynet.co.uk
It was just a suggestion. The main thing is to have that kind of awareness of the extra difficulties that we sz's have in dealing with anger, etc.
If people could see for instance a separate entity called 'anger' for instance, attaching itself to us, they would have more sympathy and try to help us deal with the thing they see.
As it is the only thing they see is us. They try to change us from without as something else is trying to change us from within.
Everything is stacked against us with sz, and although I always knew there was something else that was different, it was a breakthrough for me years ago, to realise that there was an 'otherness' about my sz which I was enduring.
I've had years of being angry and/or in pain, Gelly, and today, a window opens to help me know what to say about it.
If we can find a way to justify how we start to heal ourselves, mainly for ourselves but also for interested others, it gives us the strength we need to do it.
There are probably many other ways of doing something liket I suggested,- essentially, negative energy with nowhere else to go is bouncing around inside our minds. There's surely enough scientific minds around here to give that some thought.
One of the things that I've found very helpful in dealing with sz stuff is being able to hold in my mind the idea that what I'm understanding may or may not be accurate. In other words, we don''t have to know the answers in order to begin to heal ourselves.
Indecision is used against us, and its effects can be negated by accepting an idea of something beng either/netiher true or/nor not true and it doesn't make a difference to our healing. .
Judy
"Gelly" Gell...@gmail.com
I like what you said about not necessarily having to know the answers to start healing and feeling better.
So often there are no good answers to any of the things that start negative emotions - anger, or fear, sadness, etc. A person can keep going over and over the same things and seeing it so many ways without getting one final "answer" - just a lot of conflicting ideas.
Or if it is really something to be mad, sad or afraid about, the real answer is no good anyway, and not something you really want to keep thinking about.
There comes a point for me when I just try to forget it all. Sometimes it still sticks with me, unresolved.
I usually vent and curse when I'm driving alone in my car.
damod ...@webtv.net (String Twanger VII)
I am completely with you on this post, Judy.
If someone asks me, I say you are speakng the truth as I know it.
It is a great relief to see it being voiced by another.
The grief I have gone through and the grief I have caused, before I realized and its this truth that is in your post.
(copied below) Damo It's almost impossible for us to reconcile something within us that is not 'of ourselves', especially if we believe it to be our own.
The voices and thoughts are not 'ourselves', they are something other than us, and get to us, initially because they often use our own voice.
They are there, and it feels as if there is little we can do about it, but we can find a way of dealing with the situation better if we at least acknowledge that is not ourselves, and then look for ways in which the impact on us is lessened.
We don''t have to know what it is, or how to deal with the whole problem, that may not be ours to deal with. Start off by doing the bits that we can do easiest, how to stop its impact on us.
Judy (I had to recreate paragraphs because webtv just jams everything together in a copy and paste. I hope my paragraphing it does not/did not change the message. Damo)
damod ...@webtv.net (String Twanger VII)
One of the things that I've found very helpful in dealing with sz stuff is being able to hold in my mind the idea that what I'm understanding may or may not be accurate. In other words, we don''t have to know the answers in order to begin to heal ourselves. Indecision is used against us, and its effects can be negated by accepting an idea of something beng either/netiher true or/nor not true and it doesn't make a difference to our healing. .
Judy This has been one of the perplexing paradoxes I have ever struggled with in my own life.
I saw that reason , perhaps "intellect" is the word? Reason is insufficent to deal with the szness.
I mean....you should see what I went through this morning with a "visitor".
I say "visitor" because saying "voices" is way too oversimplified to explain my experiance. Totally unbelievable. Immutably there, but beyong reason.
I came to a point in my "journey" where I had to stop denying my own experiance and accept "isness".
I had to stop reaching for an answer and accept isness before I could evolve through the sz.
I had to stop calling my experiance nuts, I had to stop the doc's psycho babble explainations when it CLEARLY was beyond his comprehension.
ITS NOT rational to the paradigm of our cultural knowledge.
But it can be worked with. I agree Judy.
Damo
"Judy" jal...@easynet.co.uk
Sometimes Damo, it is about finding a way of understanding something, and saying it, firstly to ourselves and then to others.
In working with ourselves in this way - that is, holding in our minds the possibility of this or that, without acceptance or denial of any or either, we create a state of balance in the midst of it all.
In creating that place of balance through the way we hold ideas in our mind, we give a place of safety for our innocence, whilst outside of that, here, we, being material beings, are subject to material conditions.
Our innocence is nourished by how we 'are' and nourishes us in return by helping us to find a way through the particular circumstances of szness.
Innocence *is* innocent. We are all custodians of our own innocence.
Judy
damod ...@webtv.net (String Twanger VII)
I think there is a problem between knowing something and believing something.
Within the sz area of experiance it can be very tricky trying to nail something down.
So if we know that this one particular aspect is present and we get involved through belief we have mis-stepped.
Sooner or later, we likely will develope other knowingnesses which can contradict another knowingness we have. If somethig we believe becomes contradicted by our experiance...well.....this isn't good.
If we instill belief in these knowingnesses, and those knowingnesses are attacked or transform, our self image, our ego becomes more involved and that brings emotion. Likely some turmoil.
Becoming emotional and clinging to "sz answers" brings dillusions.
Its not a "smarts game" its a "emotional balance game".
Or to say it another way, "its not in the lyrics its in the music".
Damo
"rainbowguardian" robert_smrd...@nospamgmx.de
But it is a paradigm in some other more naturalistic (?) societies. You could for example study these naturalistic religions on the internet.
"Judy" jal...@easynet.co.uk
In many respects (as I understand it) they are more or less aspects of the same thing.
That is precisely what sz is - when what we believe to be true becomes contradicted by our experience.
That is as true for you as it is for me, yet apparently different.
My experience has been that exact projection. My knowingnesses were attacked and my self image was transformed. I did become emotional, and yes there has been a lot of turmoil. My posting record on alt.s.sz will support this.
> Becoming emotional and clinging to "sz answers" brings dillusions.
That's as much as I can remember now, of the post that seemed to get lost which I thought I posted yesterday. I did add some more today about knowing and belief being aspects of the same thing.
When I remember what else I wrote in response to your post Damo, I'll post it later.
Best wishes, Judy
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