Lousy mood today
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k ...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
I'm in a lousy mood.
I want to pull the wings off people.
Someone post something to cheer me up. Do something funny.
Dig up Margaret Dumont so you can hit her with a pie or something.
Rhubarb makes a good throwin' pie, especially in the hands of a chimp on a tricycle. Or just figure out a way that a chimp can give a robot a wedgie.
-- K.
How about a robot made out of pies hurling himself at Margaret Dumont? The robot could be built by the chimp.
Tim Chmielewski ch...@dcsi.net.au
Coincidentally, they are premiering "Angels in America" on Austrian TV tonight (I have no idea why it is not on a commercial station.) I've got a pile of DVD's to get through that arrived form Canberra yesterday though.
Thanks.
--
GIT Groupie : http://gitgroupie.timchuma.com The Twits Give Me the Shits : http://twitsgivemetheshits.timchuma.com My Photos : http://photos.timchuma.com Hong Kong Movie Reviews: http://hkmovies.timchuma.com
Mark Hill mh...@epicentre.net
Why? Is pulling the wings off people not good enough for ya or something?
The Avocado Avenger sta...@io.com
Maybe all the whining and lamenting and gnashing of the teeth about how some senile old coot finally kicked off is getting you down. I know it's getting me down. We found out today that Friday is Happy Reagan Is Dead Day or something, and so all the banks will be closed. But it's also payday, and our checks HAVE to be automatically deposited. How can they be deposited if the banks are closed?
So we may not get paid Friday. It's just typical, to have a president who ****ed us over for 8 years, die and **** us over one last time.
Thanks, Ronnie.
No. YOU do something funny.
Today is Mike Farrell is Dreamy Day. Better?
Stacia
k ...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Don't blame me. At the time he bit the big one, I was doing a completely non-Reagan-related activity -- dyeing my hair an unnatural shade of red.
This just in, Chevy Chase says I have cancer of the hair. Also, Francisco Franco is still dead.
Who do I look like, George Coe?
"Saturday Night Live" hasn't been the same since all 87 of the funny cast members died and were tragically survived by 3729 unfunny ones.
-- K.
I wish they'd bring back "Fridays" now that Andy Kaufman is undead.
"Mark South" mark.so...@null.invalid
"John D Salt" <jdsalt_AT_gotadsl.co.uk> wrote in message ...
That's because he was so old to start with.
The T-shirts might sell well. They might sell even better if you schedule a full re-enactment of the poll tax riots for her funeral day.
She's like the worst kind of mother-in-law[2] isn't she? Never dead when you want her to be.
The best would involve a lot more deaths, John. A lot more.[1] [1] I mean really a LOT of deaths.
[2] See quote in signature.
--
"****! ****! ****-****-**** ****itty-****! Bastard **** arse and ****, thrice ****ly! Thank you for doing this to me, God! ****!"
- John D. Salt in alt.religion.kibology
wre ...@io.com (Tim Serpas)
Well, I didn't do it, but I've been saving it for you.
Warren Ellis regarding Enterprise's season finale, worse than Fonzie Jumping the Shark:
-> Shark bukkake is when the sharks get out of the water
-> wearing SS uniforms and jerk off in Fonzie's face.
Bless his wicked little heart.
Wretch
MmmTobler ...@earthlink.net (Paula)
Hey, unless the computers are off for the funeral, checks should be able to be automagically deposited. Isn't the whole point to do away with anything that requires a human being to actually show up at a bank in the first place?
I want to know why the gubmint doesn't demand that all schools close on Friday to observe this solemn occasion. Heaven knows all the kids who are still in school in body checked out as far as their brains are concerned long ago. If we could close down the schools, maybe we could avoid such wastes of my time as the boys who decided that they would light a stinkbomb in their least favorite teacher's cl***room.
Since when is doing anything that requires setting something on fire a good idea for p***ing time at school? They would have been suspended at least even if they hadn't damaged walls and tile. As it was, they were expelled, with only a couple weeks to go until they would have promoted and gone on to high school. They will now have to spend their summer in summer school and may still not be admitted into the regular high school. The idiots deserve to do hard time at alternative high school.
In other idiot news, the agency I work for has lost some funding for the summer so they have begged people to go on leave over the summer so they won't have to figure out what to do with everyone but will still have them on the books when all the schools gear up in the fall.
Since I work at year-round schools, but have kids who will be off in August, I had already asked for some time off in August. My request was denied. "Ah," I thought, "That was before they lost funding. Of course now that they are begging people to go away and not get paid, they will gladly give me leave." Silly me! The director still says that I can take leave if I want to, but I will not get my old schools back if I do. When I asked why, I was told that it had to do with consistency. As in, they don't want the schools to have counselors who come and go. Well, okay then. Of course the best thing to do is to give the school to the counselor who filled in for a couple weeks instead of the one who was there for the year or two before that.
That makes perfect sense!
Based on your report on recent activities, I would guess you look like Bozo the Clown. Or is it Richie Cunningham? Just which unnatural shade of red did you dye your hair?
You skinny guys always think it's so damn funny to make fat jokes now, don't you? John Belushi is spinning in his grave. Spinning samurai swords around your head, that is.
Paula
k ...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
I'm surprised there's room for him to roll over in his grave. I mean, his corpse is faaaaaaat. But remember he, and Chris Farley aren't the only dead "Saturday Night Live" cast members. Terry Sweeney was really skinny (because he was gay) as was Danitra Vance (because she had cancer.) Phil Hartman had a good physique. Garret Morris is super-skinny (because he's had drugs), and sort of counts because he was once falsely reported as having been killed. And Larraine Newman can't be long for this world because she had anorexia -- performing on TV while that much underweight must certainly shorten your lifespan, even if it's a good show.
And then there's George Coe, who was an official member of the "Not Ready For Prime Time Players" for three episodes, but they booted him off the show because he was too old, so he had to take a job running Network 23 instead (on a show where the villain was played by fellow "Saturday Night Live" reject Charlie Rocket.) IMDB doesn't say Mr. Coe is dead, but also, they don't say he was ever born (he's one of the few actors who has no age listed) so we'll also put him in the "maybe" category although I don't know whether the old fellow would count as skinny or faaaaaaaaat these days.
(In my opinion, firing George Coe was one of Lorne Michaels's biggest mistakes.) Oh, and should John Belushi want to tap-dance his way out of that grave to menace me with his Toshiro Mifune sword, he ought to be warned that although I don't have any samurai swords, I have some _big_ swords. Buck Henry wouldn't have survived had _I_ been the one to hit him in the face with a sword on live TV. So if Mr. Belushi came at me with his wimpy little sword, I'd kill him faster than a coked-up Robin Williams with a hypo full of speed.
-- K.
Also, I'd change the title of the show to "Saturday Night KILL KILL KILL!!!"
"Jeremy D. Impson" jdimp...@acm.spam.org
Or defense contractors. I need time for closure.
Guh? I thought it was pretty much self-evident.
--Jeremy
--
Jeremy Impson jdimpson can be contacted at acm dot org http://impson.tzo.com/~jdimpson
Wiblur the Once wib...@comcast.net
Hey now, as a proud gradiate of Granite Alternative High School (AKA Hippy High - our motto: "Wow man, Tracers!!11!!"), I heartily recommend hard time at an AHS! I went from a burn-out skipping cl***es at Granger High to a burn-out with good grades and a seat on the student council at Hippy High.
After graduation, I exited the crispy phase, went on to college and became the wildly unremarkable misfit that many people have grown to tolerate on ARK!
More importantly, I have successfully achieved not-bitterness!
--
"Mogu is a tiny golem wife ... and your best friend ...
and your worst nightmare."
- Joe Bay The Wiblovian Institute of Kibology - http://www.aros.net/~jchapman
wre ...@io.com (Tim Serpas)
http://www.io.com/~serpas/cgi-bin/snlsrch.cgi?77m Wretch
Shiro Akaishi akai...@skizzzers.org
Before you start on blues, here's something you probaby aught to see: http://www.furinkan.com/tomobiki/uy/characters/rei.htm Careful with that color, cowboy.
--
/\ _____________ \ _()< -Quack, I am (__\ |Shiro Akaishi| \_/ Png, the ) \. ------------- LL SigDuck!
/.
The Avocado Avenger sta...@io.com
You will inform us when this finally evolves into Muppet Crotch, right? Because we must be kept informed.
There's a joke about a Muppet News Flash in here, but I'm too lazy to figure it out.
Stacia
wre ...@io.com (Tim Serpas)
I thought it was going to be the other Rei: http://www.eva2000.com/gallery/rei Wretch
MmmTobler ...@earthlink.net (Paula)
Didn't you grow up in Salt Lake City? That's not hard time at alternative high school, you wuss! It's like the rich guys who go to jail for tax evasion at those country club type prisons vs. the dead men walking guys. Our local alternative high school is a whole different story. There was a hard core family in my office today spending an hour trying to see exactly what the child needed to do between now and the last day of school to stay out of alternative summer school. I wouldn't have thought they would be afraid of anything, but the mom was actually crying. OTOH, the white trash girl who was suspended for racial slurs on a crowded school bus and then asked for protection from those who were looking to kick her scrawny white *** around the neighborhood wasn't afraid of being ***igned to alternative high school even after she followed up on her bus episode by putting White Power slogans about killing Mexicans all over her notebook. But then, as you may have already figured out, she is probably too stupid to be afraid of the school or the people in it.
Come to think of it, the best friend of the girl who was going to kick her *** will be there with her all summer long and probably for many years afterward. The ***-kicker isn't in school anywhere, or she would be there, too. Maybe they should sell tickets for school visits after they all start cl*** together as a fundraiser.
Paula
d ...@gatekeeper.vic.com (David DeLaney)
Would this involve "Beaker" popping up and going "!!! !!!!!! ! !!!!" in true Woodstockian style? IYKWIM? Because if so I'm too leery to.
Dave
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK> http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
Wiblur the Once wib...@comcast.net
Your point is well taken. When I went to hippy high, it consisted mainly of hippy-types (my english teacher had lived in Haight Ashbury and had been one of the Merry Prankster's girlfriends). We were all about enlightenment, peace, love and good vibes. That was probably why the program was working so well.
The school's high degree of success was also the reason the district officials hated us so much, they had declared us all a bunch of hopeless burn-outs that would never amount to anything (my councilor at my previous high school told my Mom that very thing) and really got irked when many of us went on to do well.
The scariest thing we had happen there was when a body builder was giving a demonstration of his "amazing strength" at an ***embly (curling 700 lbs several times, etc), when his medication started wearing off and he started getting all freaky and mental on us.
Fortunately, the principle got him safely into his office where they had a nice little chat about what God had been telling him lately (face to face, apparently). I never heard if he left with the nice young men in their clean, white coats, or if he calmed down enough to leave on his own.
--
"Mogu is a tiny golem wife ... and your best friend ...
and your worst nightmare."
- Joe Bay The Wiblovian Institute of Kibology - http://www.aros.net/~jchapman
MmmTobler ...@earthlink.net (Paula)
What the HELL were they thinking? Enlightenment, peace, love and good vibes do not belong in a public high school. It almost killed me just to type them in the same sentence. <shudder> I would imagine that the gloom and doom quotient would be higher in SLC high schools. "You had a sip of wine? You'll NEVER amount to ANYTHING but fuel for Satan's hellfires, you LUSER!!!" Who knew what a few friendly steroids could do to a person way back then?
What makes you think the white coats are clean? Have you ever been around crazy people? It is not a clean profession, take my word for it.
Paula
Wiblur the Once wib...@comcast.net
Who would have thought that I'd actually have a reason to quote something from "They're coming to take me away" by Napoleon XIV. But then on the other hand, we are on ARK and stuff.
The great thing about that "45 rpm" "record" was that on the "B-side" was the same song, only backwards and it was actually more fun to listen to than the normal version.
http://it.stlawu.edu/~x0tsing/takeaway.htm
--
"Mogu is a tiny golem wife ... and your best friend ...
and your worst nightmare."
- Joe Bay The Wiblovian Institute of Kibology - http://www.aros.net/~jchapman
cgreu ...@csclub.uwaterloo.ca (Chris Reuter)
Lard also wins serious cool points for covering this song on, IIRC, their _The Last Temptation of Reid_ album, but Biafra then goes on to lose some of those points by cramming in an extra verse ranting about monogamy or something. Still, he gets a few back by the extra bit about all-you-can-eat prescription drugs so it's a net win.
--Chris
--
Chris Reuter http://www.blit.ca "It's a worse addiction than drugs, I'll tell you that. ... Guys like Lou Reed, Iggy, Dylan, Neil Young ... Pantera, Megadeth, Metallica and all those bands out there playing golf. Everyone plays." --Alice Cooper
MmmTobler ...@earthlink.net (Paula)
I actually already knew that. My brother had that record and I listened to both sides repeatedly.
Paula Where life is beautiful
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