Writing lines as punishment
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Fritz fr...@spamless.com
Does anyone besides me use repetitive line-writing as a non-corporal punishment alternative, especially for older kids?
"Nique" m...@me.com
Fritz, I have used writing as a form of discipline, but not repetitive line writing. When I have told my daughter that she must write for punishment, it is usually more of an essay about why she is being punished, what was wrong with her behavior, etc. I found it to be very effective with my older daughter. I have never used the repetitive thing though.
Nique
doan d...@talitha.usc.edu
Good post, Nique. This was used on me when I was a teenager and was effective with me too.
Doan
"Nique" m...@me.com
Just as a side note here. The writing I get usually turns out to be GREAT scrap book material as well. I cannot wait until she is older and goes back to read some of her thoughts and writing that she produced in these scenarios. Some are really insightful for a young girl, and some are just plain cute. :-) Nique ...
an ...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Catherine Woodgold)
I don't think it's a good idea, because IMO it would tend to turn kids away from enjoying writing.
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Cathy Woodgold TISSATAAFL Ottawa, Ontario, Canada http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~an588/ an...@freenet.carleton.ca Inability is an abstract thing involving comparison with alternate universes; it cannot be experienced.
cddu ...@ouray.cudenver.edu (Chris)
: Fritz, I have used writing as a form of discipline, but not repetitive line : writing. When I have told my daughter that she must write for punishment, : it is usually more of an essay about why she is being punished, what was : wrong with her behavior, etc. I found it to be very effective with my older : daughter. I have never used the repetitive thing though.
I enjoy writing and expressing myself on the printed page.
If my parents had used essay writing as a punishment, though, I might not have grown up to be someone who takes pleasure in writing.
Chris
"Nique" m...@me.com
My daughter really responds well to this. She still enjoys writing. It is used as a time for her to reflect, express her opinion of the situation and gives her expressive freedom. At the same time, she is able to reflect on her own behavior and how she feels about it. Not sure how this could possibly squelch any natural tendency to enjoy writing.
Nique ...
observer observer_mem...@newsguy.com
"I don't think it's a good idea, because IMO it would tend to turn kids away from enjoying writing." On the other hand, if they get spanked, they will grow up to like spanking or won't be able to avoid abusive relationships.
Gee, am I missing something here?
"Nique" m...@me.com
Oh, and just an FYI on this one, my daughter has on *numerous* occasions *chosen* to write apology letters to me, and other things as a way of expressing herself when we have had disagreements or I have expressed a disappointment in her behavior. Many times this is her choice of disciplinary actions when she is given the opportunity to choose what she thinks is appropriate. Sometimes it is my choice.
Nique
cddu ...@ouray.cudenver.edu (Chris)
Perhaps I am misunderstanding, Nique, but I fail to see the connection between making a child write something, as a punishment, on a topic of your choice, and "expressive freedom." Chris
"Nique" m...@me.com
Chris, think hard here and you will get it. The writing gives her the opportunity to express herself about the situation, her behavior, the punishment, and say anything she wants to say about it. She is not restricted by what she is allowed to write, just that it has to be neat, in cursive (because it is good practice for her), and be related to the situation. You would be amazed at how much she will write that she might not have the ability to express in a verbal scenario. How does an ***ignment in school that is on a topic of the teacher's choosing allow expressive freedom? Come on Chris, if Catherine or LaVonne or one of your other cronies had said this you would be supporting it all over the place as positive discipline. You are reaching on this one.
Nique ...
fern5 ...@aol.com (Fern5827)
Nique, if your daughter is anything like you she is a sharp, thoughtful, and critical reader and writer.
BTW, essay writing is STANDARD tool used in rehabilitation programs which work with children and older offenders.
Writing enables one to clarify thoughts, slows down thinking, stops impulsive thinking, and in general encourages REFLECTION.
Good post, Nique. You are definitely a parent who has lots of techniques at your disposal.
Spanking is reserved as merely one of them, to be very judiciously used.
Http://www.profane-justice.org (CO site of Suzanne Shell. Activist against anti-spanking laws and Family Advocate)
an ...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Catherine Woodgold)
What a great idea. Much more imaginative than just having a child write repetetive lines. Far more effective, I reckon; as well as being more educational.
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Cathy Woodgold TISSATAAFL Ottawa, Ontario, Canada http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~an588/ an...@freenet.carleton.ca Inability is an abstract thing involving comparison with alternate universes; it cannot be experienced.
an ...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Catherine Woodgold)
Maybe Nique means freedom within limits. Maybe Nique sets the topic, but her daughter has freedom to choose what to say within that topic and what sentences and words to use to say it. I would call that "expressive freedom." It's like if a teacher says "write any story you want about fairies." Well, not quite the same, but still there can be expressive freedom there.
Certainly there's expressive freedom in comparison to being told "write this sentence 100 times".
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Cathy Woodgold TISSATAAFL Ottawa, Ontario, Canada http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~an588/ an...@freenet.carleton.ca Inability is an abstract thing involving comparison with alternate universes; it cannot be experienced.
"Nique" m...@me.com
Thanks Fern, Apparently there is a large misconception that people who use a judicious spanking occasionally don't use anything but spanking. Not sure what head in the sand attitude caused that.
For the record, my oldest daughter has long outgrown spanking, and I do not deem it as an effective tool with her. She has not had a spanking in at least 5 years or longer. I use it as a useful tool when my children are somewhere between 2 and 4, when they learn to be deliberately defiant, but are not quite rational thinkers yet. It is also used in only certain situations where I deem it as completely necessary to accomplish the discipline necessary. I also do not think it is necessary for all children.
Spanking has shown to be ineffective with my younger daughter, and usually not a necessary thing, so I don't use it with her. We will see how the third one is in a couple of years if I ever get her here. :-) ...
an ...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Catherine Woodgold)
I'm not sure who you think has that misconception or what makes you think they have it. I don't remember anybody on this newsgroup saying anything that implies they think that.
When someone says they use spanking only "when needed", that suggests that they haven't learned enough non-spanking techniques to cover every situation; that they feel spanking is not an option they've chosen, but the only possible action in a given situation. Not that I'm implying that any particular person used the phrase "when needed".
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Cathy Woodgold TISSATAAFL Ottawa, Ontario, Canada http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~an588/ an...@freenet.carleton.ca Inability is an abstract thing involving comparison with alternate universes; it cannot be experienced.
"Nique" m...@me.com
I will now quote your post from earlier today: The entire gist of that post was an implication that people who do not spank use other methods with a disctinct implication that people who do are not equipped with other methods of discipline and are somehow inferior to those that don't. I will go on if you like, but from the fact that you responded to this post it is clear that you knew who I was referring to which indicates that you knew that you made the statement.
So now people who spank are not educated enough to use other methods? Come on Catherine, you are digging yourself into a huge hole here. I have a HUGE repertoire of discipline techniques that I use. I use them based on the situation, the time, the place, the child, everything is a part of that decision. I also make attempts to use all sorts of new found techniques on a regular basis. THe fact that sanking is among the many that I use, does not mean that I have not learned enough, nor that I do not know how to avoid spanking. It simply means that I have found it to be an effective tool that is not harmful in any way and accomplishes a disciplinary goal.
an ...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Catherine Woodgold)
Fern, I agree with you that Nique is thoughtful and knows lots of parenting techniques.
However, I would like to point out that when you post a message which is supportive of an overall parenting method that includes "spanking" but you don't include in your post a definition of what you mean by "spanking", that there's quite a significant danger that your post may be read by someone who does things to their child that you would consider abusive or even be horrified by if you saw it, and that that person will interpret your condoning of "spanking" as condoning of what they do, which they might call "spanking" but which might actually be some horrible abuse.
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Cathy Woodgold TISSATAAFL Ottawa, Ontario, Canada http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~an588/ an...@freenet.carleton.ca Inability is an abstract thing involving comparison with alternate universes; it cannot be experienced.
"Nique" m...@me.com
But Catherine, Fern does know my personal definition of spanking. She knows that I have made it clear on the newsgroup what I define as my own "brand" of spanking because she has bothered to read that or to look it up in my past posts here. Have you done the same before you made blanket statements concerning me spanking my children and the pain it causes? Do you *know* what you are talking about before you say it?
Nique ...
an ...@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Catherine Woodgold)
No, it is not clear. In fact, I did not know who you were referring to; and I did not make the alleged statement.
I did not say that. Please stop doing that: quoting me, saying "so", and then saying things I did not say, did not mean, do not believe and that are not true.
That's great. That's the impression I've gotten from other posts of yours, too. I never said otherwise about you.
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Cathy Woodgold TISSATAAFL Ottawa, Ontario, Canada http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~an588/ an...@freenet.carleton.ca Inability is an abstract thing involving comparison with alternate universes; it cannot be experienced.
"Nique" m...@me.com
So you did not say this? You did not say that people who use "spanking when needed" have not learned enough not to use it? What exactly is the above quote then?
LaChris ...@webtv.net
ROFLMFAO!!! Little chrissie lisps:: ..I enjoy writing and expressing myself on the printed page.
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? If my parents had used essay writing as a punishment, though, I might not have grown up to be someone who takes pleasure in writing.
Chris mcmx:: <<<< LOL!! You whining little weasel!!....So why don't you THANK your parents for spanking you instead of making you write lines, you prissy little whiner?>>>>
LaChris ...@webtv.net
Nique gives the Denver Doofus too much credit......
Chris, think hard here and you will get it. The writing gives her the opportunity to express herself about the situation, her behavior, the punishment, and say anything she wants to say about it. She is not restricted by what she is allowed to write, just that it has to be neat, in cursive (because it is good practice for her), and be related to the situation. You would be amazed at how much she will write that she might not have the ability to express in a verbal scenario. How does an ***ignment in school that is on a topic of the teacher's choosing allow expressive freedom? Come on Chris, if Catherine or LaVonne or one of your other cronies had said this you would be supporting it all over the place as positive discipline. You are reaching on this one.
Nique mcmx:: <<< Huh uh, Nique. Nope....Not little chrissie dugan - he's not "reaching" at all. There is NO punishment that you can cite that the deceitful, delusional, and ever lying little chrissie dugan will accept.
As far as Vonnie goes - same thing. Chats is a little different story: I'm still waiting for the blow-up between Chats and little chrissie.
He's been ignoring her posts about limits and discipline/punishment....but hold on - don't change channels - keep your hands off of the remote....Little chrissie brooks NO disagreement with the Holy Writs and this is far from over between them.....I have to laugh just thinking about it.....>>>>
LaChris ...@webtv.net
I'm glad HE did learn to write....LOL....This is funny stuff...<chuckle>....
Little chrissie pouts:: ..Perhaps I am misunderstanding, Nique, but I fail to see the connection between making a child write something, as a punishment, on a topic of your choice, and "expressive freedom." Chris mcmx:: <<<, I don't think that any parent would find it necessary to have you "understand" or "see" anything, Doofus. Anybody who has caught your act for longer than a week recognizes that you would whine about any parental measures used to punish a child for bad behavior. In this case, Nique apparently has found a creative way to "punish" her child and at the same time teach her something. A lot of us would call that "discipline," you whacko weasel....LOL....>>>
observer observer_mem...@newsguy.com
" . . . you don't include in your post a definition of what you mean by 'spanking' . . . . " As I posted several weeks ago, people who have a hangup with the definition of spanking don't seem able to get beyond defining spanking in their discussion.
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