Conduct Disorder
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b ...@aol.comnojunk (BJ80)
My girlfriends son was diagnosed with Conduct Disorder last month. He has been kicked out of one school for missing 45 out of 60 days. We enrolled him in another school, and he has dicthed the last 2 weeks. He comes home when he wants, leaves when he wants. He steals money from his mother, gets high with his friends. NO matter what we do as far as puhishment is concerned makes no difference to him. He doesn't care! Tomorrow we have to go to his school to meet with the Dean. His mother has requested that he be taken out of main streem schooling and placed in what is called here "opportunity school". I ***ume it is kinda like a special ed school for deliquents. He has in the past burned down her home. He has started several fires in the home. We even had to seal his window closed to keep him in at night. What else can we do?
"Elaine Gallant" elaine.gall...@worldnet.att.net
How old is he? 12? 16?
The deal is, if the adults can't contain him, or tell him what to do, no one is safe. The kid might burn the house down with the whole family in it. Of course the child is also a danger to himself.
In a situation like this, sometimes the most practical thing to do would be looking at emancipating the boy as soon as possible.
Cut him loose. He's not going to attend school. If he's emacipated, HE becomes legally responsible for himself.
Another practical idea is to remand him to the state for custody.
Tomorrow we have to go to his school to
tarkaan-NOS ...@bigfoot.com
Have you ever allowed him to experience the true consequences of his actions? You've got posession of narcotics, truancy, and curfew violations there. How much do you want to shelter him before you call the cops?
-- Jack Tarkaan -- mailto:tark...@bigfoot.com
-- Return address intentionally broken. Remove NOSPAM to reply.
tarkaan-NOS ...@bigfoot.com
So we pay the bill? Thanks, but no thanks.
-- Jack Tarkaan -- mailto:tark...@bigfoot.com
-- Return address intentionally broken. Remove NOSPAM to reply.
"Marc" msylves...@mindspring.com
With the burning down the house thing he is too dangerous to keep around.
I'd say he needs to be put in a psycho ward for a while. He has serious issues.
His Mom can't control him, and he is a danger to himself and others.
Steve rste...@armory.com
Do what you never bothered to do before. Give up.
Tell him you're giving up and won't stand in his way anymore.
Ask him why he doesn't care and what he really wants.
You might hear some truth.
Steve
Steve rste...@armory.com
It won't matter, Jack, anywhere they send him he will be a hero to his peers!! You'd better instead ask him why he's so pissed off, and pay attention without shouting back or contradicting him, because you won't change his mind that way, their crap is why he IS the way he is!!
Steve
Steve rste...@armory.com
He is the way he is because of what they did to him. They are the ones who need locking up.
Steve
"ajpdla" ajp...@yahoo.com
Sounds like the prime example of one reaping what one has sown. Good luck.
b ...@aol.comnojunk (BJ80)
Steve you are so wrong! How can you make a judgement call like that? Are you not symphothetic to how the mother feels? Are you that cold hearted? I made this post to try and find other people out there that may be going through the same thing and share their experiences and maybe some possible solutions. NOT to get uninformed hurtful opinions like yours. His mother is a loving mother.
She is a single mother with no help from the father! His mother has tried everything she can think of. Do your Reaserch before you make judgements like that! Conduct Disorder is a physcological disorder. Look it up! It has absolutly NOTHING to do with how he was raised!
Caitriona Mac Fhiodhbhuidhe kit...@whitepine.com
Please don't let Steve get to you. He's like that with almost everyone. Believe it or not, on occasion, he's actually civil. One thing to *always* remember when asking for advice/support/etc, whether on Usenet or IRL, is to weigh the comments you get, take what will work for you, and throw the rest in the trash.
--
Kitten = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = I'm a bitch, I'm a lover; I'm a child, I'm a mother I'm a sinner, I'm a saint; I do not feel ashamed I'm your hell, I'm you dream; I'm nothing in between You know you wouldn't want it any other way -
- - Meredith Brooks
"ajpdla" ajp...@yahoo.com
Don't feed him. "Steve" is a gameplayer whose posts are solely designed to elicit responses such as yours so as to make himself feel like the somebody who he thinks he is, who he sees himself as in this forum, and thus can have any future existence here. He is one to be ignored. Although he probably will never go away.
His kids are grown, long gone from his household. His experience is 20 years old and, as far as many of the other parents in this newsgroup are concerned, p***e' towards anything that they are going through in TODAY'S society. The finger "Steve" has on the pulse and heartbeat of parenting has long since died. He just doesn't want to know it yet. People like himself never see the daylight, for lack of want. For if they ever did, they'd never have anything left to feel like they are giving. It's actually pretty sad. And something that all of us will someday have to deal with.
Just as the child who grows to adulthood and sees things the way they will see them, in their own newfound light (at whatever age, really, this occurs) -- and you still have the parent who wants it to be the way THEY think it ought to be (the world according to themselves) -- this is the epitome of "Steve." The sooner people can figure this out, the better off they, and this newsgroup, shall be.
AJPDLA ...
tarkaan-NOS ...@bigfoot.com
You don't have to yell, just put him in prison. Better than a ward of the state, because at least the parents are punished (they have to tell friends at parties that ... ohhh, my son is in prison now) along with him.
-- Jack Tarkaan -- mailto:tark...@bigfoot.com
-- Return address intentionally broken. Remove NOSPAM to reply.
"Elaine Gallant" elaine.gall...@worldnet.att.net
It's the law. I don't necessarily think it's a GREAT law, but the family DOES have legal recourse from an uncontrollable child.
This does not sound like a little boy. He sounds like a big, spoiled young guy with a lot of control issues.
In our grandparent's time, when he started misbehaving at home, and being unmanagable, the family would have farmed him out. Bucking hay all day does a lot toward reducing excess engergy. Energy otherwise used to fight with parents, school, local cop, ect.
The youth would work on the farm for his room, board and a stipend if he was lucky. The cash got sent to the parents to dispose of as they saw fit.
Personally, I would be ok with selling them to gypsies..... but there ya go.
;)
"High" highb1...@home.com
I'd like to see his children (and ex-wife, for that matter) come on this NG and give their version of events .
...
fern5 ...@aol.com (Fern5827)
Tell the mother to join a local support group like Toughlove.
Http://www.toughlove.org
Steve rste...@armory.com
Toughlove is garbage!
Steve
Steve rste...@armory.com
Because it's the truth. Kids become primarily what their parents have made them, and toward their parents they are almost PRECISELY what their parents made them AND KEEP MAKING THEM!! These parents authority-abuse their child for years, and then when the child grows large enough to do it BACK to them they act like "gee, we didn't know THIS would happen!" How stupid!!
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Am I sympathetic with what she did wrong? No.
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If she desperately wants to feel hurt instead of paying attention and asking questions about why I say this, then that's HER nevermind!!
In that case she is just lashing out either in anger or claiming hurt in the service of denying what I'm saying, her "hurt" isn't REAL, she doesn't even ****ing KNOW me!! ;-> Why should she believe me that she's wrong OR take any sympathy I might give!???
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Ah yes, we are all, all "loving mothers", to paraphrase Marc Antony.
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All psychological disorders BY DEFINITION come from how he was raised!
Or don't you know what the word means!????
Steve
Steve rste...@armory.com
No, I'm not a "gameplayer". I say what I have good reason to believe because I would like people to adopt my methods, but parents do what they do because of defects in THEIR character and abuse THEY suffered from THEIR parents, so they have a dire vested interest in denying that THEY have done anything wrong and in being allowed to continue with their abusive methods, even though they don't work.
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This is your new ploy for the day. You should be ashamed. Children are the same as they ever were, and I haven't forgotten a thing. You would try to diminish what my experience has taught me and how it could help others merely because you haven't learned what I've learned yet, and you don't wish to see the days of abuse-parenting die and disappear, because it would invalidate you!
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The way I would LIKE to see things is the way I experienced excellent success. YOU don't LIKE for parents to have to respect children, so you will try to invalidate me at every turn, or else you will feel your life has been a lie, which it probably is!!
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You're doing nothing but pompously prating your newfound ploy of the day.
Steve
Steve rste...@armory.com
I've TRIED to interest them in this!! They think I'm foolish for even trying with you lot. They think I'm "casting my pearls before swine", my daughter says.
Steve
"Teachermama" teachrm...@iwon.com
This is a real question, Steve. You seem to be so down on the majority of people in this newsgroup--and highly critical of their opinions. Above you refer to 'their defects of character'. Do you see yourself as having any defects of character? If so, what would they be?
Steve rste...@armory.com
Oh I have a few, but enough about me. ;-> I happen to be that one weird guy among so many others who lucked out in lots of ways, I was not abused by my parents, not even in a very subtle way like most of you that I have met, and this is true of me to the extent that I am amazed, shocked, and discouraged by the kinds of things you people do to your children!! Thus I can't help but wanting to help children everywhere by trying to tell you what is doing this to you and how you would have acted had you not been authority-abused and dishonored.
Steve
"Teachermama" teachrm...@iwon.com
You're not lumping everyone in the newsgroup into one group, are you? That hardly seems fair.
"B and B" baboonnliz...@prodigy.net
Dear god, that sounds like one of my mother's friends. In his case, they tried pretty much everything, and finally just kicked him out when he turned 18. Since then, he's been in plenty of hot water. Last I heard about him, he had raped some girl, and was going to be put on trial as soon as he got out of the hospital. Her brother found out and pounded him to a pulp.
Steve rste...@armory.com
If the shoe fits, then wear it.
If not then stop trying to jam it on your foot And then stop whining at me about it.
You don't know me from Adam, but if what I said makes sense then feel free to feel offended, and if not, shut the hell up.
Steve
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